Page 45 of Moonshot

“Yes. I’m going to the shelter on Saturday. I have to fill out some papers to volunteer and get a tour of the place. They said I could spend some time with the pups while I was there.”

“Oh, Mom, that’s fantastic. I’m so happy for you.” This is the best news I’ve heard in ages.

“Why don’t you come along? I know I need to do this on my own, but I wouldn’t mind the company if you’re free.”

“Sure. I’ll meet you there. Just text me what time.”

“I will. Get some sleep, my beautiful girl. I love you.”

“I love you too.” Hanging up the call, I place the phone down on the nightstand and find some sleep clothes. I’m proud of my mother. This is a big step for her. As I slide into bed, I close my eyes and end my day with gratitude. Thankfulness for all the good things in my life. Other than my migraines, I’m in good health. My mother’s health has improved beyond anything I could’ve hoped for. Now she’s looking at volunteering. I have great friends, a nice home, and I’m gainfully employed. What more could I want?

Change the channel, Ava.

* * *

Walking into the lobby of the Hanover area animal shelter, I see my mother standing at the counter speaking with a young woman. As I approach, I see she’s holding a clipboard and dropping a pen into a cup on the counter.

“Hi, Mom.”

“Oh, Ava. This is Janet. She’s going to be showing us around.” My mother returns the clipboard, and I smile in Janet’s direction. Little dachshund earrings dangle from her lobes which have legs that appear to be walking when she moves. Janet is perfectly suited for this job.

“It’s nice to meet you.” I give my mother a brief hug and ensure she’s included my contact information on the paperwork in the event she is feeling unwell and needs me to come to pick her up.

“Right this way, ladies. It’s pretty crowded today.” We trail along behind her down a bright yellow corridor that smells of old concrete and dog. As Janet opens a heavy metal door, we’re instantly greeted with the animated barking of confined animals. “We have dogs and cats here, but we keep them separated. We’re happy to have you assist in both areas. The animals benefit from walks and affection. You can help with feeding time and grooming. If there’s a dog or cat that makes you nervous, you just let us know. We rarely have any issues with aggressive animals, but I want you to feel comfortable.

As I walk into the kenneled area behind my mother, I take in the rows of excited dogs. There are smaller dogs on top and larger dogs on the bottom. There are a variety of breeds present. Some with a beautiful dark, shiny coat, and others with spots. They all appear well cared for. Several look thin. A few sit back in the corner, a bit scared.

“I wasn’t expecting so many,” I utter.

“They’re all so sweet,” my mother states as she approaches a small, white tuft of fur with big brown eyes. “Is it okay to pet them?”

“Sure. Just let them smell your hand. Don’t reach in unless they seem receptive,” Janet advises before she walks down the corridor to grab a large container of food to distribute.

I let out a laugh, watching the tiny mutt practically lick my mom to death. “I think that one’s a little too receptive.”

“Oh, she just needs some love,” my mom coos, her statement instantly causing a sharp, stabby sensation in my chest.

Observing these two, my introverted mother and this lonely, extroverted dog, should make me smile. But it’s bringing tears to my eyes. My eyes scan the room. All of these lonely creatures. Had they been cast away? Had they served their purpose until they were no longer convenient? My gaze lands on a small beagle mix that had fallen asleep with his head resting in his dog bowl. Had this one been here so long that the arrival of strangers wasn’t exciting any longer? Had visitors coming and going just to leave them behind become commonplace?

Unable to stop them now, the tears begin to pour down my cheeks. Swatting at them as they tumble to the ground, I inwardly scold myself.What is wrong with you, Ava? Are you seriously having a breakdown here?

“Ava?”

I feel my mother pull me into her before I can make eye contact with her. I love her so. But I can’t end up this way. Spending day after day alone, feeling discarded. But this is so much harder now that I know what I’m missing. Do I just move on and settle for someone who’ll be good to me? Not worry about chemistry any longer? Because anything has to feel better than this.

“I’m sorry, Mom. I don’t know what’s come over me.”

“Baby. I understand. It’s okay.”

“I just got my hopes up. With Michael. I thought he was different. He said and did all the right things.” Pulling back, I brush back the tears with the back of my hand and dig deep for renewed resolve. “I’m so proud of you, Mom. For doing this. I know this is out of your comfort zone. I’m going to take a page from your playbook and work on me for a while.”

“Ava. You’re so strong and smart. It’s his loss, you know that, right?”

“Yes, ma’am. That’s one thing I’m certain of. It just hurts. I think I’d been burying my disappointment for too long. These sweet pups pushed me over the edge.” I chuckle half-heartedly. “Are you okay here? I think I’m going to go home and put on a pot of tea, now that I’ve gotten that out of my system.”

“Of course. I’m fine. Please give me a call later to let me know you’re all right.”

“I’m fine. I’m sorry to worry you. But I’ll call you later.” Giving her a quick hug and a kiss, I wave to Janet as I head for the front doors.

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