Page 17 of Deprived No More

“Oh, Kat. Your boys are great. They just love life. Stephen would never have allowed such lively behavior when Luke and Jenna were little. There’s so much I’d do differently if I had the chance again. You’re an incredible mom. And I know with Nick’s hours, you’re probably doing everything yourself.”

“No. He helps. Especially when things don’t go as planned. I came down with something yesterday, and he dropped everything to help.”

“Good. It’s nice to know he’s the whole package.” She laughs. “Are you feeling better now?”

Suddenly, a wave of guilt washes over me. Here I called to ask my sister a favor, and she has to listen to me go on and on about my incredible husband while she’s still single after all of these years. And I have absolutely no idea why.

Rachel is the stunner of the family. And she’s a great mom to my niece and nephew. I’m sure after everything Stephen put her through, she’s a little gun shy about committing to someone. It has to be tough getting past infidelity. I’d lived through it with prior relationships, and so had Nick.

“Oh, I’m better now.” I reply. “But now I feel terrible for a different reason. Here I am calling to ask you for a favor when you already juggle so much on your own.”

“Oh, don’t apologize. I wouldn’t change my circumstances. I’d rather be alone, just the kids and me, than with someone who can’t commit to his family. What do you need?”

“I was just going to ask if you’d mind taking the kids for a few hours on Saturday evening. I’m headed to work and staying in town because I have to be back tomorrow.” I don’t think Nick has figured that part out yet, and I didn’t want to give him one more thing to argue about. I’m going to have to drive back to the house at the crack of dawn to get the kids to school so Nick doesn’t have to be late to work again. “I think after the week we’ve had, he needs a few uninterrupted hours together, just the two of us.”

Turning into the hospital parking lot, I find a spot and park the car. I haven’t been here in a few weeks. Hopefully, the volume of patients to providers will be better once I join Marty and the rest of the crew on duty.

“Just Nick?”

“I’m sorry. I was distracted. I just pulled up at work. What do you mean, just Nick?”

“Only Nick needs a few uninterrupted hours?” She giggles.

Stopping for a second, I try to find the correct words to respond to her. “It’s hard to answer that, so it makes any sense, Rachel. I love being with my kids. I’d give almost anything to have one more. If Nick and I don’t have as much time for one another because we’re spending time with our kids, I’m okay with that.” I pause, trying to explain this, so she won’t think I’m not grateful for a husband who wants me when she’s alone. “But Nick’s been really needy lately. I understand. He works hard, and I’m lucky to have him. I’m trying to find a balance. I guess what I’m saying is, I’ve got the baby blues. I’m trying to distract myself from this midlife crisis by focusing on the kids. And I think he’s focusing on sex.”

“Ah. I’d say I understand, but we’re in different places at the moment. I’d love to be getting some action from a hot number like your husband. I think about what it’d be like to have another child if I met the right person. But my kids are teenagers now. I’m not sure how that would work.” She chuckles. “Good thing I don’t have to worry about it, huh?”

I feel terrible now for sharing this with her. For years we weren’t the type of sisters who shared intimate details of our lives. Having had this relationship repaired years ago when I lost my ability to have children, I need to watch what I say. I feel like I keep putting my foot in my mouth. “Rach, I-”

“Listen. I know you have to go to work. But please don’t ever feel bad about sharing your life with me. You and I had a superficial relationship for way too long. I want you to tell me what you’re thinking and feeling.” I love my sister so much. She’s right. “I’m choosing to live this way. Waiting for the right time, the right man. If it doesn’t come along, I’ll be okay. Once you’ve lived years through a bad marriage, you chose yourself first. I’m never going back there.”

My heart feels as if it is on a taffy puller, fluctuating between admiration and concern. What I’d give to see her find someone who could make her happy. Stepping out of my car and grabbing my work bag, I juggle my phone on my shoulder as I reach for my water bottle and shut the door. “I love you, Rachel. I don’t tell you nearly enough.”

“I love you too, Kat. Just let me know what time on Saturday. Jenna and Luke can keep them occupied while I make dinner. Then maybe we’ll watch a movie. Have they seenBoss Baby? There’s a new one out. Thought maybe they’d like the first one.”

Spitting out my water, I cough to expel the remaining water in my throat. Memories of Luke and Jenna texting quotes from Boss Baby to Nick while I was babysitting them years ago come to mind.

“Kat, you okay?”

“Yeah. I’m good. Hey, Rach. I’m running inside. I’ll catch you later.”

“Okay. Bye.”

Walking through the sliding glass doors of the emergency room, I nod to the pretty new registration clerk at the counter who buzzes me in through the locked doors. Barely making it twenty feet, I see the relieved look cross Marty’s face.

“You’re an angel. Thank you for coming.”

“I’m sorry it took me so long.”

“Oh, don’t worry, honey. They’re still waiting,” Marty adds with a campy flourish.

“Great. They’ll be in a fantastic mood when I walk in.”

“There’s nothing we can do about it. We see patients as fast as we can based on the staffing we have. And the sickest come first. Even though the ones who could’ve gone to an Urgent Care center or their primary care seem to be the ones who complain the loudest. I mean, don’t complain about your wait to the bitches who keep showing up to work here!”

A laugh rumbles from my chest. He has to deal with the short-staffing situation far more than I do now. “You tell ’em!” I giggle. “Okay, I’m off. I’ll just go down this row,” I say, pointing to the seven closed doors in the fast-track hallway.Ugh.

“You’ve got this. Let me know if you need anything,” he tosses over his shoulder as he walks back to the main ER.

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