Page 46 of Deprived No More

An hour later, I arrive at the staff meeting and am surprised to find Elise, one of the new hires, has come to the meeting despite being on maternity leave. Each new arrival to the room goes over to meet her baby girl. Taking the available seat on the right-hand side of the room, I find I’m just opposite Elise and her baby.

The entire two hours that transpire, I’m distracted by watching little arms and legs kick as Elise makes funny faces to her child. I couldn’t tell you one thing that happened here. Just how beautiful her little girl was.Ugh.

Picking up my things, I head toward the car when my phone buzzes.

“Hello?”

“Hey. How was your meeting?”

“Okay, why?” I know I sound morose, but watching Elise play with her baby for the last two hours felt like water torture.

“I don’t know, Kat. I’m just making small talk. Why do you sound so down all the time? I wish you’d spit out whatever it is that’s bothering you. This is ridicu-”

“I want another baby.”

“What the fuck?”

Yeah, that’s exactly the response I was going for. It’s a banner day.

“Have you lost your mind, Kat? We can barely keep up with the kids we have.”

“Says who? I’ve been keeping up just fine.”

“Were you not there recently when we couldn’t manage ten minutes alone together?”

“That was different. A virus tore through our house. What has that got to do with anything?” I look up from where I’ve been staring at the ground during this conversation to find multiple people in the lobby staring at me. I pick up my pace toward physician’s parking so I can retreat to the safety of my vehicle before I break into tears. It was just as I’d predicted. He didn’t listen. My desires aren’t being heard. I received no acknowledgment of my feelings before my statement was callously shut down.It is his way or the highway.

“I need to go,” I spit into the phone.

“Where are you?

“In the parking lot. But I’m going home,” I snap as I hang up the call and practically sprint to my car. Reaching the doors to the physicians’ parking, I fling the door and release a heavy sigh as my car comes into view. Just a few more feet, and I can have a good cry before I drive home.

“Kat?” a male voice shouts behind me.

I whirl around to find Holden running after me. The visible concern on this man’s face shakes my steely resolve, and I start to feel tears pour down my cheeks.

No, no. Couldn’t you wait five more seconds before you started crying?

“Kat, what’s wrong?”

“I’m fine. I just need to get home,” I splutter. I’m so embarrassed.

“Are you sure you’re safe to drive?”

“Yes,” I say, swiping at tears. I bite down on my trembling lip, hoping I can prevent full out sobs until I can make it to the safety of my car, when another large tear tumbles down my cheek. I close my eyes, not wanting to see Holden’s opinion of my current state, when I feel him swipe away the next drop that falls.

“What happened?”

Unable to talk, I just shake my head as another few fall.

“Don’t cry, Kat,” Holden whispers.

In an instant, it feels as if thunder is rolling through the parking area. Like the skies will open, and a deluge will surge. Is it just a premonition of how I’ll feel once I allow the crying to begin? There’s not a cloud in the sky. Then it gets closer. I can almost feel it before I hear it.

“Get your fucking hands off my wife!”

CHAPTEREIGHTEEN

---