Page 82 of Deprived No More

I immediately feel sick at her response. “Rach-”

“Kat, stop. I told you. I’m single by choice. I wish it was easier to hire a gigolo in this town, but I’m fine with my current situation.”

“I really wish you could find someone like Nick, Rachel. You deserve someone who will treat you right.”

“You’re right. I do. But until someone comes along who’s as smitten with me as your husband is with you, I’ll stay single.”

Trailing along behind her, we come to the kitchen, where she’s prepared quite a spread. There is a salad, a selection of gourmet cheeses, an assortment of bread from the local bakery, and a fruit salad. The table is set with beautiful linens, and a candle is lit in the center.

My sister sits down and takes a long sip of her water while I continue to admire her effort. The setting appears so romantic. “Rachel, if I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were trying to have your way with me.” I giggle.

She chokes on her water at my statement, and I rush to her side to pat her back.

“Are you okay?” I ask, laughing. “I was only teasing.” Placing my purse on the counter, I walk around the table to the place setting across from her.

I realize it’s gone quiet and look up from the beautiful tablescape to make eye contact with her. She’s wearing an oddly serious expression as she returns my gaze.Oh, god. Is something wrong?“Rachel, is everything okay? I know I haven’t seen much of you lately. We’ve been dealing with some stressful stuff at our house, and it’s caused me to be absent. It’s no excuse. You’ve always been there-”

“No, everything’s fine. It’s just something you said earlier. It caught me off-guard. But you’re right.”

Biting my lip, I try to come up with what she could be referring to and come up blank. As I stare wordlessly at her, she appears to feel sorry for me and lets me off the hook.

“I think when I set the table, I was trying to seduce you.”

Uh, what?

“Kat. I want to have your baby.”

CHAPTERTHIRTY-ONE

Kat

Is she high?

“Rach, you know I love you. But I think you might be having some kind of breakdown.”

“No. I’m dead serious.”

“About what?” I’m completely baffled by this conversation.

I watch as Rachel takes a sip of water, carefully places it down by her plate, and then takes an obviously long breath before returning her gaze to me. “Kat, hear me out. I’ve been thinking a lot about this. I want to carry your baby. You and Nick deserve the chance to have a biological child. You’re the perfect couple. If you used a surrogate, you’d need to use a donor egg. Who would be the closest match to yours?”

I sit blinking at her. I’m completely in shock. “Rach. Even donating your egg would be a huge gift. But to carry the baby. That’s an incredible sacrifice.”

I watch as she shakes her head back and forth. “But it’s not. When I think back on my married life, I was the absolute happiest when I was pregnant with Luke and Jenna. Call me eccentric, but I enjoyed everything about pregnancy. Sure, I could have simply gotten lucky with my pregnancies. I had very little morning sickness and no complications. And my deliveries weren’t difficult.”

I don’t even know what to say to her. She’s rambling on as if we’re talking about where Mom and Dad went on their last cruise.

“I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. I meant it when I said I was happier single and alone than being in a bad relationship. I’m not sure I’ll find someone before it’s too late to have another child. Plus, my kids are teens now. I don’t know if it’s in the cards for me to have another. But I have great kids, and I’m okay with however things work out. But I’d be sad if I couldn’t experience pregnancy once more.”

It’s odd, really. Hearing her speak this way would’ve bothered me years ago. I’d been so jealous of all the girls who waddled around the ER. I can’t recall a time I worked at St. Luke’s where at least one of the nurses wasn’t pregnant. Oh, how I’d longed to be them. But the universe had a different plan for our family. And when I think of my four kids, I couldn’t imagine it any other way.

“Oh, Kat. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to-”

“No. I’m not upset at all. That doesn’t bother me anymore. I might not have the kids I do if I’d conceived the natural way.” Taking a sip of my water, I try to absorb all that she’s said to me. This can’t be real.

“Kat. I’d like you to think about it. I wouldn’t have offered unless I’d spent a lot of time contemplating this.”

Reaching across the table, I take her hand in mine. I’m at a loss for words. How do you thank someone for a gesture of this magnitude? How far we’d come in our relationship that this was even a consideration?

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