Page 262 of Hunters and Prey

I was still looking at him, when the light around both of us started to change.

IDON’T KNOW WHAT I expected.

Like the lack of fanfare at the start of the ritual, the light of all of those supposedly-high beings swam over me with little fanfare, too.

It felt like feathers whispering around my light, first near to my body, then up to the crown of my head, then higher, in the spaces above my head.

I felt them continue to travel up.

I felt a kind of polite respect as they went over structures in my light, examining them meticulously. I saw them highlight different areas, seemingly showing those areas to one another as they explored their way through the light part of me. I saw them pause on structures that appeared more dormant; I could almost hear them discussing what they might be for, and what it might take to activate them.

Then they hit things that were harder to deal with.

For me, I mean.

I felt them trying to go into parts of my light and realized they’d hit spots where I was actively clenching and hiding, without knowing I’d been doing it.

At first, I felt that as a purely mechanical sensation. The structures grew even more taut and closed, and I struggled to get myself to relax enough to open them.

Then I realized Black was protecting those areas of my light as well.

It was as if some part of me had called to some part of him, asking for his help.

That part of him wound into those areas of my light, creating little pockets of shielding around them, warding off anyone who came near.

I felt fear rise in me––irrational, unspecific fear––the instant they began loosening my and Black’s hold over those areas of my light.

Then, slowly, those parts of me began to open.

My panic spiked.

I felt myself breathing harder. My hand clenched over my chest.

My fear echoed through Black. I felt myself go into full-blown, lock-down terror mode. My body tensed, muscles clenching, but I could no longer close down that part of my aleimi. It was open now, and there wasn’t a damned thing I could do about it.

I was still sitting there, panting, when my vision slanted out.

Images rose behind my eyes.

I started breathing harder, even as it felt like I was choking on those breaths.

I saw faces––

Hey.Black’s light rose in mine. Honey… ilya… it’s okay. They won’t hurt you.

I nodded, trying to believe him, wanting to believe him, but I couldn’t see him.

I could feel the part of me still throwing up walls, still not wanting to see the memories or feel the feelings stored in my light.

I don’t know how long I drifted in that space, feeling things pull at me, feeling myself clenching, withdrawing, burrowing deeper into darker parts of my light.

Then something smacked me.

It wasn’t Black.

Whatever it was, it smacked me hard.

Without thought, without a single conscious realization in my mind, I hit back at the presence I’d felt––harder than I’d been hit.

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