Page 29 of Hands off his Dudette

Chapter 13

As the pasta turned out okay, they had it for dinner and burgers for supper two hours later. They did not, however, celebrate, although Anna was dying to dance around and drink champagne.

"They could still say no. Wipe that grin off your face."

"Come on, they gave us a price and we accepted. We're so going to get the apartment!"

Finn refused to cheer up. After attempting to ply him with dumb jokes, games, some Game of Thrones, food, beer, and barely extracting a grin from him, she gave up. "All right, what's going on? You're grumpy as fuck."

He kept his eyes on the screen, as if his entire attention was on Tywin Lannister. "I'm just thinking about what you said yesterday, wondering if we made the right choice, is all."

Oh, well, she could hardly blame him for that. Only, he didn't realize one thing. "I was being dumb, and entirely expecting you to talk me out of the funk. That's your job. And my job is to talk you out of it now, so spill. Why are you getting cold feet?"

That did extort the ghost of a smile from his reluctant lips. "Cold feet. That's one way of putting it. All right, so, I think that I shouldn't have dismissed your concerns that lightly. If you do want to date, find someone to settle down with now, it's only likely that you'll feel that way next month, and next year, and the year after that. You may end up resenting me for holding you back."

Fair, and annoyingly reasonable. "I won't. We're buying an apartment, not holding each other in a basementwith shackles. I'll date if I want to."

"And I'll continue being an ass each time you do. That's not..." he thought it out. "Healthy."

Anna considered what he'd said for a few instants, before replying. "All right, so truth is, if you started to date tomorrow, I'd probably feel the exact same way. I'd certainly be scared of another Patricia, someone who'd get in our way, you know? So I'm not upset at your lack of enthusiasm for my dating life. I expected it. If you'd been all right with it, I would have been surprised, actually."

Finn chuckled humorlessly. "And no wonder they're all saying we're in love with each other, given how we act."

Another time, she might have chuckled with him. Now she was noticing how very close he was, and how his leg was brushing against hers. It would have been easy, ever so easy, to shift on the sofa and climb on his lap. Take his mouth like it belonged to her, and just see what he had to say about it, once and for all.

"They say we're in love with each other because I love you, and you love me, and they aren't capable of imagining that relationship without sex added into the mix." She shrugged. "We're proof it's possible."

Finn generally agreed. He made no answer tonight.

"What?"

"Sometimes," he replied slowly, "I wonder if they're right. I wonder if you and I are more—should be more. I wonder what it'd be like to call you mine, in every way. And then I remember that trying might cost us this, so I don't."

Her jaw fell.

He...he was thinking about her that way?

"You can blame Wren for this. He said something about communication, or whatever."

Anna concentrated on the one piece of information her brain could compute. "You're taking Wren Richards' advice now?"

Finn laughed, getting to his feet. "I know, right? Terrible idea. I'm going to crash. I'll text you when we get new from Yvonne in the morning."

Before she knew what was happening, he was retreating toward his bedroom. Shit. She couldn't leave it at that, dammit.

"You know," she said, eyes on her lap, "I wonder the same thing, sometimes."

He stopped striding away. She glanced back at him, finding him framing the doorway, eyes set on her. They were just as intense as they'd been the previous day.

"Do you now?"

She shrugged. "How could I not? It's always been a fleeting idea, though. I'm not...your type. And as you said, we'd have too much to lose. Still."

"Still," he repeated.

"There are questions that don't need answers," she said firmly.

"Others do, Anna."

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