Page 34 of Hands off his Dudette

"Ah, tea!" said his mother, when Arnold walked in with a tray.

Finn had never seen the tray, or the dark brown tea set—it looked Asian. Another new fancy of his mother's, no doubt.

"You must try this, both of you."

He and Anna were both coffee drinkers, and his mother knew it. "I'll pass," Finn said, shrugging.

Arabella ignored him, pouring her concoction into four cups—for all her airs, she rarely excluded Arnold.

"Drink," she ordered him, lifting a cup toward him.

He sighed, and took it. Anna was wiser, grasping her without protest.

After one sip, he grimaced. Leaf's piss, like any other tea he'd ever drunk.

"What do you say?" Arabella demanded to know.

"Very nice," Anna lied.

"Pretty shit," Finn said.

"Exquisite, ma'am," was Arnold's answer.

Arabella was satisfied, as they'd all replied exactly as she'd expected.

"You take pleasure in vexing me, Finnegan. I know better than to believe a word out of your mouth."

"If you wanted a dutiful son, you should have picked a half decent name for me."

"Finnegan is perfectly acceptable. Isn't it just, Annabelle?"

"Yes, Arabella. I think it has character, and Finn suits him, in any case."

"See? Remarkably pleasant and courteous as usual. Now, if we can get you to stop slouching, you'd be quite the perfect little housewife."

"Maybe Anna doesn't aspire to be a housewife. She's perfect as-is, slouch and all."

Arabella rolled her eyes. "We can all do with a little improvement."

"Present company included, mother?" Finn challenged.

Arabella shrugged. "That's what Bruno's for, dearest. Now, I haven't planned dinner, would it be presumptuous of me to ask if you could accommodate me tonight?"

Oh, no. No. Just no.

"Sorry, Mom. Anna and I are eating out. There's leftovers, and we can call take out if you'd like—or there's plenty of things Arnold could cook in the fridge."

Arabella did not, of course, cook.

His mother blinked.

"Going out?" she repeated. "You two? Am I to understand that you've started dating?"

Oh, for Christ's sake.

"We eat out from time to time, Mom, that's all. Tonight, we're celebrating." Might as well get it over with. "Anna and I are buying our own place—you'll have the house to yourself when you visit NYC in the future."

The elegant woman put the tip of her hands each side of her head, and massaged her temples as she did when she had a headache coming on.

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