Page 219 of Kingdoms of Night

I didn’t want to undergo that pain outside while alone and in the wilderness. There might not be any Infected close by, but all it took was one gust of wind going in the wrong direction to change that.

And then I’d become lunch to a horde of starving humans.

The disease had turned many of them mindless with hunger. Their bodies were deteriorating but not dying, the disease evolving to keep the host alive like an animated corpse.

It was disturbing.

And also part of the problem with our cure research—the humans were too far gone to be brought back.

It was cruel to force it after a certain point, and that point wasn’t long after their initial infection.

My shoulders slumped as I took over one of the kitchen’s dining chairs.

I’d spent so long searching for a solution, so longhopingfor a way to save humanity, but it was becoming clearer every day that I’d failed.

Maybe that wasn’t fair. But I felt like a failure anyway. And I despised that feeling.

Which made this situation with Jonas even worse because I’d failed with him, too.

“Pity party for one, please,” I muttered at the table before me. It was small with just one other chair.

A chair that should have Jonas seated in it.

Actually, no.

Jonas should currently be fucking me in a bed upstairs. My wolf snorted inside me, obviously agreeing with the thought. But that snort quickly turned to annoyance—at me. BecauseIwas the reason our desired mate had left.

I pressed my palm to my stomach, willing the next spasm to just hit me already so I could go find Jonas.

Naturally, it didn’t come.

However, I knew that the second I left this cabin, my cramps would start again and send me to my knees.

So I’m stuck here for now.

I let my forehead fall to the table, much like I had the counter, and huffed in annoyance.

I can’t just sit in this chair.

I at least needed to prepare. If Jonas really had left me here to fend for myself, then I had to create a barricade. Or a proper den. Because in a few hours, I would be mindless with need and incapable of protecting myself.

But he said he would guard me, I thought.Did something happen to him out there? Did he change his mind? Is he punishing me?

I’d already considered that last question. Just like I’d wondered if maybe he’d run away to take control of his rutting instincts. However, he’d seemed perfectly in command of himself earlier.

So either something had happened to him—doubtful, given his skill set and expertise—or he’d decided to punish me.

Which meant he hadn’t gone far. Just far enough for me not to be able to feel his presence.

So perhaps he’d set up a perimeter sweep, one that kept me safe while guaranteeing I went through this alone.

Asshole, I grumbled. But even as I considered the insult, I realized that he wasn’t being an asshole at all. He was giving me what I’d wanted.

Which meantIwas the one punishing myself.

How appropriate.

I stood again and started pacing.

---