Page 226 of Kingdoms of Night

“Omegas are rare,” he continued. “They’re meant to be cherished. Worshipped.Loved.Some say it’s because of their ability to procreate and the sensations of exquisite sex. But it’s about so much more than that, Riley.”

His lips brushed my pulse, his teeth skimming the tender skin.

“It’s about the soul bond. The connection. The rare link between an Alpha and his mate.” He drew his mouth back up to nibble my ear. “I’ve never searched for this relationship because I never felt deserving of it.”

I frowned. “Deserving?” I couldn’t imagine an Alpha moredeservingof a mate than Jonas. “Why don’t you feel deserving of an Omega?”

“Because of my genetics.” He shrugged, the movement causing his body to shift against mine. “My biological father raped my mother while in heat. He didn’t try to control his rutting instinct. And I strive to be his opposite. Control matters, Riley. Control is the mark of a powerful Alpha.”

“Your father wasn’t powerful,” I inferred.

“On the contrary, my sperm donor was very powerful. He just chose not to be a good Alpha.”

“And you choose to be a good Alpha… by not taking a mate?”

“No. I choose to be a good Alpha by protecting those who need me. And I choose to be alone because I prefer it.”

I understood that desire because I preferred to be alone, too. Just for very different reasons.

“The feeling that I don’t deserve a mate plays a part, or it did when I was younger,” he continued. “But it evolved into a sense of solitude that I enjoy.” He kissed my pulse again, his hands moving to my stomach and downward to my thighs. “However, you make me want more. I’ve craved you for months.”

“That’s why I’ve always been rude to you. However, it wasn’t because I could sense your desire.” I’d known he was interested, but that wasn’t what had driven my actions. “It was because you made me want something that has always scared me.”

My insides quaked as though to agree, my heat cycle making itself known once more.

I winced, my limbs locking from the onslaught of the shaking need destroying my core.

Jonas purred in response, his chest vibrating my back as he ran his hands up and down my sides again.

Never touching me sexually, just intimately.

Petting me.

Worshipping me, just as he’d said.

“Is it the thought of being claimed that scares you? Or the thought that being claimed will redefine who you are and take away your identity?” he asked softly.

“My identity,” I breathed, my stomach churning from another painful spasm. “I like my freedom.”

“I like freedom, too,” he told me. “I like being able to travel. Live where I want to live and how I want to live. It’s why I’ve not joined a pack. I think that makes us a bit similar.”

“Yes.” In a way, it did. “But you’ll always have choices as an Alpha. Omegas lose their sense of choice when they take a mate.”

“Only when they take one who doesn’t value the Omega’s free will.” He kissed my temple, his palm going to my belly again. “I like you for who you are, Riley. Even your bratty side appeals to me. I wouldn’t change anything about you.”

“My bratty side appeals to you?” I almost looked back at him, but another cramp had me shifting forward instead.

His purr pulsed against my back, instantly soothing the ache once more.

“Your bratty side makes me want to fuck you,” he told me. “It makes me want to punish you, too.”

I stilled, my heart stuttering in my chest. “By leaving me to suffer my estrus alone?” I guessed.

“No. That’s not punishment, Riley. That’s cruelty.” His palm slid lower, the tips of his fingers brushing the trimmed red hairs between my thighs.

I instantly shifted, wanting his hand lower, touching the needy space that wept for his knot.

But he kept his touch light, just grazing the top of my mound before gliding off to the side to trail down my thigh.

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