Page 68 of Kingdoms of Night

“Had a change of plans. You were clearly on your way somewhere. And unprepared too.”

She stiffened. How could he possibly be so certain? She placed the bag back on the ground. “You don't actually know me, Naatos.”

“I know you well enough. I know you're hurting and that you're going to have to figure out a lot of things because life is harsh and unfair. And it always will be.”

"If I didn't know better, I'd say you were offering to come with me." She tried to smile. Going on a journey wasn't a bad thing. Going together? They wouldn't make it twelve hours without murdering one another. Still going all that distance alone...

"I'm not," he said flatly. His crystal-blue eyes suggested no hidden emotion to contradict his voice. "We were never right for each other."

Her shoulders tightened. "I was joking, you thick head."

"No, you weren't." The left corner of his mouth quirked up slightly. "Idalno, you have to sort everything out now. What you wish to do with your life. Who you want to be. You may as well reconsider who you want to be with. Your taste in men previously has been dreadful. Had I shown even the faintest bit of interest, you would have changed yourself to suit my preferences in every matter except your pursuit of the Master of Venom and Poison.”

“Don't flatter yourself.” She drew her shawl higher over her shoulder, releasing with it a faint puff of smoke and plum perfume. The scent soured her stomach now; she'd picked it out because it was similar to the scent her aunt's magic created. “I'm remembering why that infatuation lasted hardly any time at all.”

“Good.” He kept his arms folded over his chest. “It shouldn't have started.”

"Would you just like to hit me?"

He opened his mouth, then stopped, shaking his head. “There's nothing wrong with you as you are. But I could never have loved you that way. And you would have soon found that the charms that initially drew you repulsed you—”

“Already there.”

“But if you change who you are for some idiotic bag of bones, I'm going to be annoyed. Just as I'm going to be annoyed with you if you don't find a way to embrace your actual gifts and figure out your own purpose.”

Was he…actually being brotherly toward her? She tightened her arms over her chest. “You have everybody's life figured out, don't you?”

“Enough to see when they're on the wrong path.”

“And yet you're alone. Always right and always alone. Your own brothers didn't come with you this time. Did they get tired of you always being right?”

He smirked.

Stupid thick head. Nothing affected him. “When you find the right one, you'll know it because he will recognize you for who you are. He won't need you to change what makes you you. Flawed though you are, you do not deserve a lover who does not value you for who you are or a calling that does not satisfy you. Eventually, you will find your way. You’re too intelligent not to.”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “So you're saying I deserve better than you.”

“Than me and all of this.” He gestured toward the whole assembly behind her. The steadily building music played—of sun-cured leather drums, long-necked harps, throaty gourd rasps, and rustling painted rattles. A dance circle was no doubt forming in the middle of the gathering. It would expand and contract like a living breathing entity as everyone from the young to the old danced and celebrated until the sun rose the following day. The weight in her stomach intensified. Everyone but her.

Naatos continued. “If you don't start taking who you are and what you want more seriously, you'll waste more years of your life that you could have spent doing better things. Or at least things you enjoyed.”

He was utterly relentless.

She set her hands on her waist. “By all that grows, you don't give a body any quarter?”

He managed a faint smile. "Kindness is not my strength. Nor is tact. But I am telling you the truth."

Shifting her stance, she shrugged. "I suppose you are." She nudged the bag with her foot. “One day you’ll meet your own beloved. I have to admit, I hope she’s a real fire thorn and torments you relentlessly. You need someone to keep you on your toes.”

An odd expression twisted over his face, then vanished behind that perfect mask of serious focus and calm evaluation. Had her words stung him?

She frowned and started to ask, but he lifted his spear. “To all you're seeking, Idalno.” His gaze drifted toward the hills to the east.

It became easier to smile. “To paths that are ever better.”

He wouldn't want the full blessing. But the fact that he'd shared the shortened half, encouraging her? Well, he wasn't a total blood beetle. She glanced down at the bag, then up again. He'd already vanished. Somehow.

Sighing, she hefted the bag up and slipped her arm through the strap. Whatever his faults, this was a gift. A long jaunt through the Ulmus Forest would be good, to anywhere away from here, really.

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