Page 71 of The Masks We Break

I swallow, not really sure what to say—howto explain. If I did, I’d have to tell them everything. And honestly, if Blaze hadn’t somehow known about my mom already, I’m not even sure I would have told him.

When you don’t have a parent figure to talk to, or go to for advice, most people turn to their friends. But before Spencer, I never really had any of those. Most of my decision-making skills were learned from the inside of a book, and the one thing I learned in every single one is to never be the pitied sidekick. The sad side character with a tragic backstory that only serves the purpose to help the main character, and never gets a happy ending themselves.

“Remy?” Lily’s voice grounds me, her words lined with something like a plea. “You can tell us.”

Amora moves around the bar, sitting at the other stool. She leans into my shoulder with a soft smile. “We’re here for you.”

I chew the inside of my lip, not really contemplatingifI should tell them, but how I should begin. It’s time I stop thinking of myself as the side character.

Taking one last look at Lily, I start. From my mother’s death to my father’s neglect, my grandmother’s departure, and ending with my meeting this morning—both with the professor and the advisor. By the time I’m done, the girls have cried, cursed, and picked their jaw up off the floor.

“Remy, this is a lot to unpack, and I am so fucking sorry you’ve been dealing with all of this alone.” Amora wipes her cheek with a napkin. “I’m over here whining about dick, and you have deep shit going on. Also, I wish you would have told me about that sack of shit. I would have kicked his balls in myself.”

I shake my head, a swell of pride and relief floating through my chest. It felt so good to say it all, like dropping another load from my shoulders. I feel so much lighter. “I didn’t want you guys feeling sorry for me. And I definitely didn’t want you going to jail over Ricky. He’ll be out of Solace by the end of next week.”

Lily grazes a hand over mine, her eyes slightly red. I’d been careful with my words, not wanting to trigger her since we have kindred issues. Funny how similar situations can result in such drastically different people.

“There’s so much Icouldsay, but there’s only one thing that Ineedto say right now. We only get to do this once, Remy. I know he’s your father, but some things can’t be fixed and that’s okay. Do not feel bad for walking away from toxic people, including family.” She pauses, and it’s barely enough time for me to catch my breath. “A good friend once told me that while we can’t control things that happen to us, we can control our reaction to it. We are in charge of our mental state. We are—”

“In charge of our own happiness,” I finish just as the tears tumble over.

Then we cry, and a little while later we laugh, and soon we set a date to visit Anger Valley and release our rage on inanimate objects instead of the people we want to.

Lily gets the call I assume she’s been waiting on and excuses herself while Amora and I split the last cupcake.

As if I really needed to binge eat nearly three.

“Hey, I have to head out.” Lily’s soft smile is forced as she grabs her purse.

“Everything okay?” I don’t want to pry but there’s a strange air around her and I don’t want her upset on the long drive home.

She nods, her grin deepening into something more real. “Not right this second. But it will be.”

Amora squeezes my hand, nodding. “Drive safe, babes. Text us when you make it.”

Lily opens the door, waving meekly. “For sure. And don’t forget what I said, Remy. You’ll know it’s right because of the relief you’ll feel. It’s like dropping an anchor right before you drown.”

Wiping the lone tear from my cheek, I smile. “Thank you, Lily.”

With that, she leaves.

“I don’t know about you, but girl, I am emotionally exhausted. I’m going to bed. Rock, paper, scissors for kitchen duty?”

I shake my head, hopping off the barstool. “I’ll do it. I just want to make a quick phone call before I lose the nerve.”

Which is probably in the next few minutes if I don’t move fast. Heavy moths take flight in my stomach as Amora nods, retreating to her room and leaving me to stare at my phone.

I am in control.

Steadying my hands, I press the contact and hold my breath. My skin tingles from the electricity flowing through my veins but I let myself hold on to it, enjoying howrightit feels.

He picks up with a laugh that sends shivers down my spine before his voice moves toward the receiver. “I know, tell him about the patient from Reno. Hello?”

“Hi, Dad.” I suck in air, partially grateful that my father is out in public. He won’t be able to say any vicious parting remarks.

“What do you need? I’m at dinner.”

The muffled voices in the background grow fainter, and just that quick, I can’t grab a sentence. “I-I-I can’t do-o—”

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