Page 68 of The Masks We Break

I roll my eyes, vaguely remembering a riddle she gave me about the subject a few months ago. “I’m still not sure what you’re talking about, so some clarity would be nice, Lil.”

Mina stifles a laugh, her wide eyes bouncing from me to Lily.

“How do you feel about Remy, Blaze?” Lily sets down her fork, folding her hands across the table. “You know she’s head over heels for you, right? Probably in love if I had to guess.”

My pulse stutters. She hasn’t talked about emotions since our conversation in the tub, and even though I sense her attachments growing more profound, I wouldn’t have guessedlove. Not yet. That would mean my time is winding down faster than I thought, and I’m not ready for the end.

Even thinking about it makes my temples throb. “She hasn’t said anything.”

Lily scoffs, tossing down her napkin. “Well, no shit, cabrón. She knows if she does, you’ll leave her.”

The thought that I would leave Remy burns the back of my throat. I take the last sip of water, before handing it to the incoming waitress to refill. “I’m not leaving her. Our relationship ends whenshewants it to.”

I murmur a thanks to the server and down half the glass. Pulling on the flap of my jacket, I ignore the strange prickling in my side.

“How do you feel about her? Answer that, Blaze.” Lily folds her arms, her lips flattening into a straight line.

“I enjoy her company,” I respond simply. “Will my heart shatter in my chest if she leaves? No. Will I miss her? Sure, but will I move on eventually? Yes.”

The words taste funny on my tongue, and I take another gulp of water.

Lily throws up her hands, I hope finally giving up this tedious argument, but naturally she has the last word. “You know what kills me? You pride yourself on being this honest guy, but you lie to yourself every damn day.”

“Give him a break, mija. This is new for him. Perhaps he just doesn’t understand it yet. He hasn’t actually seen it.” Mina stabs her salad, giving Lily a warning glance.

She huffs, jutting her hands out. “Él la ama, Mina.”

Mina nods. “Lo sé, pero el no lo sabe. Esperemos que no le rompa el corazón.”

This is juvenile. Does Remy invoke a shit ton of different emotions in me? Yes. But who’s to say what we have isn’t just lust? Desire? Where is the line that separates everything?

If you can’t be completely certain, then there is room for error. A mistake.

A lie.

And I won’t lie to her. I can’t.

THIRTY ONE

“In conclusion, the genre itself can expand into more tropes, and shouldn’t hinder the possibilities of feeling the need to fit inside a box. Take romance. They have hundreds of tropes, and it always brings a refreshing twist to stories…”

The student finishes her conclusion on the sci-fi genre and I take notes on her paper. I’ve gone over the speech in my head at least ten times in preparation for my father but the dread that’s stuck in my throat makes it hard to breathe.

What if he actually fights for me to stay in his life? It’s naïve, but I think despite what’s happened a small part of me still wants it to happen. He’s hurt, and he’s unfairly projecting that pain on me, but what if he realizes the error in his ways. That could happen.

Maybe…

“Miss Solace.”

I try not to grimace and paste on a soft smile as I glance up at Dr. Humphreys. It’s then I realize everyone is gone, except a pair of heterochromia eyes gazing at me from the door.

A smile sweeps across my face as I rise, gathering my things.

“Actually, can I speak with you for a moment?”

“Uh, yes. Of course.” I look back to Blaze and hold a finger up. He’s taking me to an appointment with a financial advisor shortly, so I hope this won’t take long.

Blaze nods and disappears out of the door, allowing me to turn my attention to Dr. Humphrey.

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