Page 78 of The Masks We Break

The words drop into my stomach, forcing acid into my esophagus. I want to say yes.

I want to try.“No.”

She doesn’t look surprised, nodding before her head falls. The sight of it crushes my ribs, stealing the air from my lungs. A direct hit from an entire defensive line would feel better than this.

What the fuck is wrong with me?Am I that broken that I can’t even tell her how I feel?

If that’s the case, I don’t deserve her. Hell, maybe I never did. But I can’t stop my hand from reaching out, my voice on the edge of begging. “Remy, don’t do this.Please.”

She recoils slightly, shaking her head. My heart falls into my stomach, a pain I’ve never felt before wrapping around my body and squeezing me until I’m almost struggling for breath.

Tears roll down her cheeks. The cheeks I caress as I hum her to sleep. The ones I kiss before she leaves to go home.

Everything is crumbling in front of me, and I can’t even be man enough to stop it. To fix it.

“You promised-d,” she whispers, the words twisting in my gut.

I did say that, and I would give anything to take it back and punch myself for thinking that I could do this for her.

My hands burn at my sides, the urge to grab her and kiss her and whisper my apologies lighting them on fire.

But then she takes a step back.

No.

“Goodbye, Blaze.”

No.

She takes another stalled step, then turns for her apartment.

Puppet, please.

But as the words scream in my head, I remind myself of my promise, of my inabilities, of my failures, and of my darkness.

* * *

It’s beena week since Remy found the answers I needed sitting open on my coffee table. I couldn’t find it before because I was purposely passing it up. That name is in every contract of his I studied, so I didn’t even realize it was added to mine. After that was found it was easy for Mina to weed out the rest. There was both misrepresentation of facts, and illegal activity in my Cassidy contract, giving me the ability to void the entire thing, and draft a new one. Every day since, I’ve been at Clean Source, working with all the right people who unknowingly gave me everything I needed for this moment.

It’s funny, after being raised to think I had to lead and need no one but myself, it only hindered me from doing the exact thing I’m about to. But once I sought help, it was easier than the years of trying alone.

Before this morning, I might have been kinder, perhaps a little less volatile. But now, after losing what feels like a vital organ, I’d be surprised if we both make it out of this meeting unscathed.

I walk through my father’s front door, an echo filling up the large foyer as my boots hit the marble. Moving through the house, a familiar discomfort moves over me. It winds through my spine, putting my neck hairs on high alert, ready for anything to happen at a moment’s notice.

Usually, I would think of a little distraction to keep my mind clear, but remembering what just happened this morning is more than I can handle. Every muscle in my body aches, and I have to physically force myself to breathe. I know I made a promise, but for the first time in my life, I’ll happily be called a liar. I can’t do this thing without her.

“Your father isn’t here, Blaze.” My mother’s voice echoes through the empty halls, and I slowly turn my head in the direction of the sound.

The double doors to the master bedroom are open, and she’s sitting at the edge of a lounge chair, a martini in one hand.

“Do you know when he’ll be back?” Surprisingly enough, my father usually reserves Saturdays for being at home.

She shakes her head, not one strand of her dark hair moving out of place from her bun. “I’d assume soon though, he never misses a game.”

I feel something dark move in, sending a tremor down my back. “What game?”

My mother moves her long dark robe from the chair and gestures for me to sit.

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