Page 82 of The Masks We Break

After I watch the truck disappear out of the lot, I walk to my car, my pulse thrumming in my ears. In all the ways I’ve grown stronger, I’m still so weak. I let myself fall into this situation, fully aware of what may happen, yet even with everything I feel now, I wouldn’t change it for anything.

It was worth it. He was...isworth the pain twisting through my veins, knotting my muscles, making it hard to do anything.

I suppose one day, I’ll look back and be grateful for it, knowing that the intense time we spent together had such a powerful impact on me.

But for today, I think I’ll just be sad, and maybe tomorrow, I’ll smile.

THIRTY SIX

Three Years Ago

This shit is annoying. Ever since I agreed to help Lily get the Solace girl to come to a party, it’s fucked everything up. She’s all I can think about. A pure distraction from everything I’m used to—everything I’m comfortable with.

Remy makes me feel things in places I didn’t even know Icould, making me rethink shit I’ve never had to before. I’m out of sorts.

Out of control.

And that ends tonight.

She’s come to another one of Lily’s parties, but this time, withtwoguys. One is Lily’s problem, but the other is someone I’ve never seen before. I only saw him for a second, but I know he doesn’t go to Emerald Falls.

I wonder if they’re together.

My stomach hardens, a burning sensation taking root in my chest at the thought of her touching anyone.

“What’s the matter, sweets?” My on-again-off-again fuck, Stacy, purrs against my neck, and it’s only then I realize my jaw is clenched.

Another example of how Remy is bad news. She holds a sort of power over me without even knowing and that is dangerous.

She is dangerous.

But even as I say it, my eyes flash to her more than they should. Every time I catch her staring, she blooms a pretty shade of pink and my dick twitches, wondering if the rest of her body responds that easily.

Soon enough, Remy ends up by herself in the kitchen, staring at all the girls passing her by. It makes my eye twitch the way she curls in, hugging herself around the middle, like she’s not as pretty as these girls, when really, she’s fucking jaw dropping in comparison. I wish she could see that.

Fuck.

Just like that, she steals my thoughts, and as if matters can’t get worse, she starts walking toward me. My pulse accelerates, thumping so hard I see it in my periphery. I snake a hand around Stacy, playing with the lacy back of her outfit, focusing on anything other than the hazel eyes approaching.

“Hey-y.” Remy’s voice is timid, and when I slowly move my gaze away from the TV to her, she’s staring at where my hand is connected to Stacy.

The nerve in her jaw tics and something about that makes me grin.

I tilt my chin up slightly before turning back to the game, feigning boredom. When in reality, my body is vibrating, almost as if we’re opposite sides of a magnet, and I have to physically force myself from gravitating toward her.

She stands awkwardly for a moment, and just as I decide to look back, Stacy beats me to it. “Why are you still standing here? Go away.”

Bitch.

It takes everything in my soul not to shove Stacy away and apologize to Remy.

It’s for the best, Bardot. Let her go.

I watch the ball spiral across the TV, observing the local college boys beat the shit out of their rivals.

“Blaze?”

Goddamn it.

---