Page 74 of The Masks We Burn

But now, it’s a reminder that no matter how much money you have, you can still be absolutely miserable.

“Hey, babe. Are you there?” Lily’s voice echoes in my car’s speakers.

“Yeah,” I sigh, tracing my finger around my steering wheel absentmindedly. “Just pulled up.”

“Are you okay?”

I shrug even though she can’t see me. “The place was perfect.”

“Mina told me you were in love. I can’t wait to see it. When are you going to go to the bank?”

Letting my head fall back against the headseat, I sigh. “Tomorrow after class for sure.”

There’s a pause and I can almost feel my muscles knot before she says anything. “Have you talked to him?”

I clear my throat, shaking my head to combat the instant burn his memory brings to my eyes. “No.”

“Are you going to?”

I want to. “No.”

“Can I ask why?”

Because I fucked up. I ruined a perfectly good relationship with a man who cared about me. A man who didn’t push or pull, or judge me for the dozens of things I do that are obnoxious or strange. He doesn’t think my snorts are gross when I’m laughing, and he acknowledges my fear and validates my feelings. I fucked up a chance I had with someone who was going to love me more than I deserved and treat me even better.

I let the only man go who was able to make metalk, and not by coercion but by showing the importance of communication.

I’m not going to call him because he deserves someone who is going to stick around. He deserves someone who will let him be the man he was raised to be. Someone who is going to need him like he needs her.

But instead of saying all that, and telling her how fucked up I am at night when I lie in bed and miss his clean scent, or his tender hold, or his fucking smile, I tell her the truth. “Because he deserves better.”

“We all have things we have to work on as people, Amora. William included.”

Hearing his name is a slice to my heart, fraying the delicate edges more than they can withstand.

“I was wrong about you two.”

I sniff as I brush away the tears now slipping down my cheeks. “What do you mean?”

“I used to think you both were too similar, too much alike to be a good match. But you were just what each other needed.”

My internal voice screams“I don’t need anyone.”But I hush her, reminding her she’s the reason we’re here now, fighting with ourselves over the stupidest shit.

I do need people.

Everyone does at some point

Lily needed Blaze and me to get through her abusive childhood. She needed Spencer to teach her how to love again. To forgive. And she needed Mina to step in and take the reins when her mother decided to come back.

Blaze needed Remy to show him how to feel. To let him experience love for the first time in his life and show him what a healthy relationship looks like. While in retrospect, Remy needed their rocky relationship to show her that she is a strong woman, and give her the courage to stand up to a shit father and take back her life.

And I needed William.

“Amora?”

I sniff again, wiping my face again as I unbuckle my seat belt. “Yeah?”

“Just… can you promise me that you won’t letanythingget in the way of your happiness? Not even you.”

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