Page 75 of Queen of Madness

It’s not that I don’t love anyone. I do—dearly. But to use the words out loud feels like placing yet another target on their backs. A bigger and brighter one, and I’d rather not evoke more danger.

Unnecessary danger over a word.

Over a weakness.

Weakness is not the reason, it’s the excuse.

My mother’s words have a way of always making me feel foolish. Like I’ve forgotten everything she’s taught me and replaced it with my uncle’s teachings. As if I’ve forsaken the softer parts of me and traded them out with armor. But that’s what they would have wanted, right?

To never allow an enemy to see my vulnerabilities?

To harden everywhere so that I can avenge them?

I sigh, taking a card out of my pocket to twirl between my fingers as I turn back to my current problem. “Kilo. About the lost shipment. It must have been on the twelfth. You weren’t feeling well, remember?”

Kilo nods harshly, his white strands of hair falling into his face. “Yes, yes, the lost shipment. I…”

His eyes are unfocused, his mind going down the rabbit hole as he sorts through his thoughts. I wait, letting him mutter to himself when a flash of black catches my eye.

My heart flutters when my eyes land on Kane. He’s standing at the top of the step, his hand tucked into his hoodie pocket. He still looks so troubled. So heavy. As if the weight of his world is becoming too heavy for him to bear.

I want to help him.

I want him to know he doesn’t have to go through what he’s going through alone. I’m here. No, all of us are here for him should he need it. That’s what we are—a family. And whether he’s been told or not, he’s becoming a vital part of our fam—

My thoughts are cut off by a loud crash and a door slamming into my face.

The lost shipment. I remember now. There was a lost shipment, and the Murphys were hunting the pretty girl.

I remember thinking how I hoped they wouldn’t find her. How I hoped they couldn’t so they wouldn’t tear her pretty eyes from her head. Her eyes are so pretty. Or maybe,wereso pretty.

They found her.

I remember now.

They found her and her name was Fiona. Fiona Kane.

Kane.

Kane.

The name on the house. The house where I saw Ezekiel.

They have the same eyes. His are much lighter. Full of greens, and glitter and gold that sparkles. I like him.

We all like him.

He makes Boss happy. I’ve never seen her so happy. She even tends to the white roses now in the garden. Not for too long, but she wasn’t even able to look at them before. He’s healing her. Like she healed me.

Slowly. With time.

But I am out of time because I remember now.

The pretty girl is his sister.

I open my mouth to tell Onyx, who is watching me go through my thoughts. She’s always so patient with me. I wonder if she’ll be patient with him. I don’t want her to kill him before we know the truth.

But when the first word comes out, all I hear is a loud bang.

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