We ride through the city, engrossed in conversation about my latest tutor, and how I promise not to let the boys scare him off this time. Even before they came into the picture, I always wondered where my parents got my tutors. They were always so feeble and scared easily.
When we finally take the exit, the driver rolls down the privacy screen. “Sir.”
My father’s smile disappears as if it was never there, and he looks at the man. “What is it?”
He’s not snapping at the driver or angry; he sounds like he knows something is wrong and needs to know what it is.
“Our guys in the back didn’t exit, and the ones in the front just switched out with an unidentified.”
“Jada.” This time my father does snap, and my mother jumps, grabbing me by my arm so fiercely I know I’ll have bruises.
“Ow, Momma, wha—”
“In here, now.” She lifts up the long seat that runs along the windows. It’s like a hideaway box for emergencies.
“No. Let me he—”
“Baby, please. Just listen to me. I need you to get inside.” The pleading in her voice breaks something in me. Something deep and defiant, making me trust that she knows what she’s doing.
But when I’m lying inside, under the seat and watching my mother lower it back down, I realize too late it was a mistake.
The telltale sign of a lock clinking into place makes a rock drop into my stomach. The hollow plop sends dread into my limbs, causing me to feel heavy and weightless at the same time.
“Call my brother. As soon as you get an opportunity, get my daughter the fuck out of here.”
“They’re coming, love. Six at the back, one looks like Sam, and eight in the front. Do you want to take as many as we can?”
“No,” my father tells Mom. “They could open fire, hit the gas tank, or shoot through the doors and hit O.”
“Daddy.” I push the seat up, though it only allows me to see about an inch. “What’s happening? What are you doing? Please don’t leave me here.”
Though I haven’t gone through the intense training like the boys, I know better than to beg. But how can I not? They are being stupid. Why are they walking out?
“You can have some dignity and get out on your own. Or we can blindly shoot into the limo before tearing your bleeding corpses out anyway. You decide, Embros.”
My heart nearly breaks free of its boney confinement. It pounds violently in my ears as I peer through the small slit in the seat as my parents exchange looks. I’ve never seen it before, and I quickly realize why.
It’s defeat.
They are going to step outside because they don’t want me to be hurt. They are going to die because of me.
Their weakness.
“Momma, please. Father, don’t do this.” I feel like I’m screaming but I barely hear the words. I try again.
I’m howling now, the veins in my throat bulge, swelling from the force I’m putting on the cords. But it doesn’t help. Nothing is coming out.
“I love you, Jada.” He runs his hands down her jaw, then presses a soft kiss to her mouth before tapping her lightly on the nose. “And you, baby love. You are my heart.”
“Daddy, please.” I try again, pushing my shoulder into the seat, but the lock keeps it from opening more than an inch. “Please.”
Hot tears stream down my face, the agony of not being able to touch them, to just speak to them, tearing my insides to shreds.
My mother bends down, her beautiful eyes the only thing I can see as she covers the hole. “Onyx. Listen to me, baby.”
“Momma, don’t do this. You can kill them. We can drive away. Don’t walk out there.”
“Shhh. Come now. I need you to be strong. You cannot let this break yo—”