Page 42 of King of Ruin

“Why are you fighting me?”

“Because I have to,” I spit the words before I have a chance to stop them. My breathing quickens, the steam from the shower making the air thinner.

“Because you’ll feel weak if you allow me to take care of you?”

I shake my head and his hands fall away. “My strength is not determined by you bathing me.”

“What then?”

“It doesn’t matter.” I try to back track, not wanting to disclose anything more than I already have. Too much has happened, and every time he opens his mouth, bits of my resolve chip away. In hopes of sweeping it away, I unhook my own slacks and let them fall and pool around my feet.

Kane sighs. “You’d rather take a shower with me, than tell me what’s in here.” He points at my chest and I wince. “You think that caring about someone makes you weak.”

“What would give you the impression I care about you?” I try to keep an edge to my words but they don’t sound nearly as biting as I’d like.

“You love lying to me,mo bhanríon.”

“I am not your queen, Kane.”

One corner of his lips curls. It’s slow and reflective. “My captive, my whore, my queen. You’re all these things. But most importantly, you aremine.”

With that, he rips the thin panties from my hips and unthreads my corset, pushing it from my frame and onto the floor with the rest of my clothes. “I’m merely waiting for you to realize it.”

He opens the glass door and holds out a hand, letting me step into the shower. When he follows behind he immediately dives under the heavy stream, pulling me back against his chest. He turns us around, tugging the ends of my hair until I take heed and let my head fall back.

I don’t bother holding in the moan as the hot water delves into my tangled roots, and pelts into the tight muscles of my back. Instead, for just a moment, I allow myself to relax. Even if it’s for the duration of this shower only, I decide to let go and pretend that in this short time, the world isn’t crumbling around me. That I’m not in cuffs, in the belly of the beast, surrounded by the enemy.

That Kane and I would manage to survive past the end of this war.

“Weakness is not a reason. It’s an excuse.”

Kane is not my weakness, but the feelings of vulnerability he stirs are frightening. They force me to acknowledge that at one point, I was at the mercy of others. And I lost them.

This is different. I know in the end I will lose him. But instead of wanting to stop whatever this is, I want todrownin it.

Strong hands surge into my hair, and his fingers begin to massage my scalp. A familiar scent fills the air, and I will my eyes to stay closed, refusing to acknowledge the visceral ache under my ribcage at the fact that he has my brand of shampoo in his shower.

He takes his time, washing my hair twice before applying a liberal amount of conditioner. He then slowly draws me out of the water, letting it soak into my ends as he grabs a black loofah.

I watch in silence as he works the soap into a mountain of bubbles. So far, I’ve been merely observing, but when he reaches for my neck, my entire body tightens. My stomach clenches as he presses against me to maneuver around to wash my shoulders.

My heart thrums in my chest, matching the frantic beat of his. He’s so calm on the outside, but inside, I think he’s just as lost as I am in the waves of what we’ve created.

When he moves back, all pretense of him simply bathing me disintegrates in the flame of his eyes. They are hooded, needy, and trailing a fire down my skin as they drop lower.

My nerves tingle as his gaze returns to mine while simultaneously swiping the loofah over my breasts. His free hand moves up, twisting the metal barbells and tugging them back and forth through my pepped nipples. I let my head loll to the side, the sensation too intoxicating to ignore.

Kane’s lips part as he glides the loofah down further, stopping at my cuffs.

“Up,” his command is a husky bark.

I want to stay no. To fight for control like we’ve always done. But then the invasive thought of surrender suffocates me. The idea of what it would feel like to allow him totrulytake everything.

Too bad he hasn’t earned it.

“No,” I say simply.

He smirks. “Are you sure?”

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