Page 50 of King of Ruin

I chew on the inside of my lip, dread closing around my throat. I already know the answer. Without my family, no amount of miracles could have saved me. I wanted revenge, even that of the reckless variety, and would’ve easily given my life to blow up the Murphy estate after my parents’ death.

Kane eliminates the space between us, tugging my lip free and filling my lungs with his warm scent. It calms my racing pulse, relaxing my shoulders I wasn’t aware were tight.

He tips my chin up, our mouths mere inches apart. “If you won’t tell me what she means to you, will you tell meabouther?”

The man has an uncomfortable way of drawing me out despite the alarms ringing in my head. But if I’m honest, the normally blaring sounds are mere faraway beeps when he’s near, just like the screams.

Kane clears his throat, forcing my attention to his question still lingering between us.

I roll my eyes, but the urge to tell someone about the moment in my life when I let my guard down, only to be shown why I don’t, hangs heavy in the air. I want him to understand that, despite whatever dangerous thing has blossomed between us, it only ends one way.

“Ever since I can remember, this alley has been accompanied by one particular cat. It was husky and had massive jowls only a true predator could have. He always stayed in the distance, never coming within five yards of the entrance. My father didn’t let me go near him either, always saying if he was polite enough to warn us with his constant distance, we needed to respect it. Still, everytime we went, I’d look for him, waving and leaving a treat I had convinced my father to let me buy anytime we’d go to a store.”

“Such a softie.” Kane whispers, his breath ghosting along my collarbone. His gaze is no longer on mine but instead following a path down my throat.

I force a steady breath and continue despite the desire to make a rebuttal to his comment. “A few years passed before one day, he was no longer standing at the corner alone but with a smaller cat. This one was thin and pure white despite living on the street. She looked much meaner than the male and for once, my desire to approach him was forgotten.”

Kane scoffs, his face now in my neck. He’s purposely keeping his body from touching mine while my focus is lost between storytelling and pressing my back into the wall. He won’t win this.

“Interesting thing about felines,” he murmurs, “is their ability to look down on you, even when homeless and starving.”

“Very true, but the same can be said about a man.”

I can’t see him, but I know he’s smiling. “You must have the worst track record with men in the world.”

“It seems.”

“Even now?” His face moves back up to mine, his arms on either side of my head, effectively caging me in. But I don’t feel as if I’m his captive. More like he’s protecting me.

Even though he’s my bodyguard, the notion vexes me, but also does something else I refuse to acknowledge.

I push the swelling emotion from my chest, forcing my eyes away from the deep greens of his, and swallow. “Fast forward a couple months and kittens were seen around.”

A sigh whooshes out me as I move to the next part.“Shortly after my parents passed, my uncle accompanied me to the casinos. It was my first time being here without my father and it didn’t go over so well. I was still so angry. I hadn’t properly channeled it into purpose yet. I ran out of the casino, in the middle of collection, onto this backstreet.”

Kane’s face shifts, the darkness in his eyes lighten to concern, the corners creasing as his brows furrow. I know he must be picturing me as the pitiful teenage girl who lost her parents, stumbling into an alley in tears.

The sad truth is, no matter how weak he’s envisioning me then, it doesn’t hold a candle to what I actually was.

My stomach twists at the memory of what I used to be.Pathetic.

“And what happened?” Kane prompts, his voice so incredibly gentle I find myself annoyed with his sympathy.

“One of the only kittens left, that brown one, was there that night. Alone, just under the street light over there.” I motion with my chin to the tall pole on the right. “I collapsed against the wall, with so many emotions ripping through me, it was as if I was being ripped apart.”

I clear the surging burn in my throat, titling my face up to Kane. “She came to me. Crawled right into my lap. I was so shocked, the other things suddenly didn’t matter. All I could focus on was her. How soft her fur was, how pretty her eyes were. But as soon as the door swung open, she bolted from my lap, using my body as her catapult.”

I drop my suit jacket on the right side, revealing the faint silver scar up my shoulder. “My moment of weakness, and her moment of trust meant nothing when a possible threat appeared.”

Genuinely hoping he understands me, I steel my voice, straightening my jacket, and willing the growing pain back into its rightful place. I’m not sure what I imagined it’d feel like to say this out loud but I didn’t expect this.

He’s too trusting of me, too sure that I won’t put a bullet between his eyes if I need to. But, at the same time,I’m letting him make me weak. Showing him things no one else has dared to look at, and giving him access to parts of me no one’s ever been allowed near.

We’re doomed. Both of us. I should kill him now. Rid myself of the impending trouble that he'll inevitably bring upon me.

But as if he can read the doubts streaming across my mind, his strong hand catches my jaw. “Get out of your head and stay with me. Here. Right now, in this moment.”

The gold flecks in his eyes shimmer as he searches mine. It makes my stomach flutter with irritation and want. But I don’t get the opportunity to say anything because he closes the small space to my nose and presses a tender kiss on the tip.

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