Page 30 of Secrets

It isn’t until a muffled voice sounds on the intercom overhead that either of us seems to realize where we are. She blinks twice before running a hand through her golden locks and glancing toward the staircase, then down the hall.

When she looks back at me, her eyes shimmer like a pond in the middle of the spring. “Ready?”

I nod once, ignoring the lightness in my chest. “Yes.”

“Okay, well, I’m going to run to the restroom real quick.” Jessica gestures to one of the vending machines. “Will you grab a couple of waters before we go to the viewing?”

“Of course.” I nod again, and though I don’t mean to, I watch as she reluctantly turns and leaves, her hips swaying as she saunters down the hall.

When she’s out of view, I’m able to take my first breath of air not littered with her essence. And in my next, a veil of sorts, lifts.

I finally glance around me, my eyes scanning over the observatory as I remember where I am, what I’m doing.Why I’m here…

The vial in my pocket becomes heavy, the reminder a cold splash of water down my spine.

I slip my hand into my pocket, my fingers curling around the glass, and I loathe the way I hesitate for a moment.

Whether it be today or three weeks, this ends the same.

Might as well be now, before I do something stupid.

After double-checking that my lips are a shiny nude, my mascara still clump-free, and my blush—which matches both my complexion and dress on a cellular level—is flawless, I take a steadying breath.

I’m easily excited, true, but not so much nervous. I’m pretty laid back, go with the flow, here to have a good time, not stay for a long time type, but Holy shit, there are butterflies in my fucking throat.

Skin flushed, nerves vibrating, and a gas tsunami whirling in my stomach, I stretch my neck to each side, trying to find pleasure in the rows of small pops that burst as my neck cracks.

It’s pretty obvious she and I are completely opposites. From our lives, to personalities, to general interests, we don’t fit how I think most people do when looking for their person. Though, perhaps that’s why I’m so interested. So invested. I want to learn more because she’s a book I’ve never read. She has an ending I haven’t already figured out and one that I think is worth reading the middle to get to. She’s not just a new shining toy I’ll likely get bored of. She’s an evolution. Something to not be played with but studied. Then cherished. And I want to be the person to do that.

To get the secrets, the smiles, the long thought-provoking conversions she doesn’t give to anyone else. I see so much, and even knowing I’ll probably kill myself to get there, I want it with every fiber of my being.

I only hope that I don’t fuck this up. Because if there is one thing I’m good at, it’s overthinking and ruiningeverything.

With one last glance, I hurry from the bathroom and back through the museum. When I make it back to Elena, I find her standing at the bottom of the iron stairs, her eyes trained on the water bottle in front of her. Her index finger tracing the condensation on the outside of the plastic, her mind completely lost in thought as she strokes along the side. I shouldn’t find the simple act hot, but unsurprisingly, I do.

“Let’s go.” Without hesitation, I slip my hand in hers and lead her behind the steps and toward the open double doors at the other end. When we reach the attendant, I slip my phone out of my purse and show him the ticket barcodes I pre-purchased. After he scans them and directs us inside, I turn over my shoulder. “Can I ask you a strange and completely random question?”

“I wouldn’t expect anything else from you.” Even in the suddenly dim lighting I can see the hint of a smirk and I add another mental tally for all the times I’ve made her smile tonight. It feels like such an accomplishment.

“Who’s your favorite musical artist?” I lower my voice as we enter the round-about seating in the planetarium. There are only a few people present, but I choose a spot a good distance away from anyone.

“Chopin,” she announces.

“Quirky,” I joke, silently hating that I have to release her hand to pull down the fold up chair for her to sit. “Anyone a little more current?”

She waits for me to get settled in my seat before joining me. She glances at the bottles in her hand for a moment before choosing one to hand over, and for the briefest second, I think she may have a set of her own nerves. Being who she is though, I brush it away as quickly as I think it before slowly twisting the top off and taking a long pull, my eyes closing for a moment as the cool liquid expands across my chest.

“Good?”

“Delicious.” My voice comes out a little lower than I mean it to, but I also hadn’t realized how thirsty I was. Then I remember how somewhere in my excitement over the date I totally forgot lunch and skipped on my afternoon snack to get ready.

It could be a trick of the low light, but I swear her pupils flare. Like any emotion this woman ever gives me though, it’s gone in the next second when she quickly blinks and shakes her head. “I find Chopin soothes both me and my plants, so I haven’t found a reason to venture into other genres.”

“I see. So no concerts in our dating future.” It’s meant to be another joke while also slipping in the suggestion of a second date. My pulse thrums as I wait for her response, but decide to distract myself by snagging a brochure from the seat in front of me. It’s worn and torn on one edge, but my eyes soak in the information like it’s a survival guide and I’m in the wilderness. Which isn’t too far fetched considering how this whole thing feels like such unexplored terrain for me.

After what is nothing short of fucking eternity, Elena relaxes back into her chair. “Music wouldn’t be a problem as much as the crowd.”

My heart leaps, and I almost can’t hide the goofy smile from taking over. “So then what would you have us do?”

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