Page 27 of Secrets

I nod, understanding already washing over. “So everyone’s focus is on a potential serial killer while, in the meantime…”

“You’ll be surveilling the location,” Warren chimes in. “It’s an alleged cartel cargo base, and once we confirm the validity of it, all we need to know is what times they move, and how much product is being moved.”

“Seems easy enough.” I shrug.

“Confidentiality is of the utmost importance. Not only for the success of this operation, but for your safety.” The deputy, whose name I finally remember is Stevens, asserts himself.

I lift a hand. “Look, I have no problem sticking to the shadows and jotting down a few notes.”

“Good.” Warren nods and claps my uncle on the back. “Let’s meet with the team investigating the river kills and then meet after to debrief and create an action plan for Agent Frances’ surveillance.”

Though he looks as though he’s aged ten years in the last five minutes, he grunts his agreement and stands, leading the men out of his office. When I follow suit, he partially closes the door.

The shadows under his eyes are darker, and I’m only now noticing the longer-than-normal stubble decorating his jaw.

“You’re worried,” I whisper, eyes flashing to the retreating men. “Don’t be.”

My uncle huffs a humorless laugh. “This gang is dangerous, Jess. And if I had it my way, you’d be solely on the river murders.”

“It’s just a little note taking.” A part of me softens. “What’s the worst thing that can happen?”

His eyes roll. “Says the agent with more slaps on the wrist than the entire state combined.”

A smile curls my lips. “Yeah, true. But also, I have no desire to get deeper involved with them outside of what you need.”

“Yet you’re so hell bent on Alexi.”

I shrug, trying to ignore the sting of how wild of a turn my day has taken. Just this morning I was on cloud nine about a date, and now I’m diving headfirst into a fucking hornets’ nest, my revenge yet again on the back burner. Kind of. “Yeah, well, I’m definitely still doing that after this.”

My uncle sucks in a heavy sigh. “If you don’t break any rules and play it safe, I’ll help you.”

A mix of shock and excitement swirls in my stomach. After two years of constant denial I can’t help but wonder if I’m hearing shit. “Seriously?”

He nods. “If it means making sure you stay safe, absolutely.”

I smile, but part of me is curious if there’s something else I’m missing. Something he’s not saying as to why he’s so damn stressed over a relatively simple assignment. But before I can ask, Warren calls for us at the end of the hall.

I give my uncle’s bicep a reassuring squeeze, though I’m not sure it calms him, before making my way to the conference room.

Hours pass as the assembled team scours through the files, organizing information enough that I’m able to start the remnants of a profile. It isn’t until it’s far past sunset that the office clears and I reconvene in my uncle’s office.

They give me a time, a location, and access to an arsenal of repossessed cars I can use before I’m finally headed home.

I’m tempted to drive straight to The Four to get a well-deserved shot, but when my fingers pull up my text thread, Jenna isn’t the one I send a message to.

Iwas born with a condition called solar urticaria. Although my allergy to the sun was considered relatively mild, my parents, my father in particular, refused to allow me to attend school. Though I now know better, he claimed it was to prevent me from having to endure the rashes and as a result, everything I learned from birth to age seven, my mother taught me.

She was a kind woman, with a patience and innocence too pure for this world. Too pure for my father. And while he worked every night to beat that out of her, she never wavered. Never fought back or let the anger I know she felt show through. Instead, she would wake every morning, and smile at me as though I was the sun lifting on the horizon after a starless night. She would make me breakfast and sing nameless songs before dressing me from head to toe in UV-protectant clothes and taking me out to the garden.

It was there she taught me peace. Taught me how much life was within the soil when I couldn’t see it. How when we nurture even the most stagnant land, from it, beauty and abundance can grow. And when I asked her how, she would show me. She would take my small hands, guide them into the dirt, and instruct me to close my eyes. She’d tell me to envision the dead and how it feeds the earth…

“Do you feel it, sweetheart?” Her voice is so soft. So far away. I want to open them and make sure she’s still close.

I shake my head, wiggling my fingers. “I feel dirt.”

Mommy’s soft laugh makes me smile. “And what does it feel like?”

My eyebrows pull together. “Umm, dry?”

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