Page 10 of This Side of Beautiful

“Apology accepted.” I touched his forearm and softly promised, “And I will smash it tonight. I won’t mess up the show. I know this is your moment.”

Cash grudgingly said, “You better,” then walked away.

I stepped toward Landon to thank him for defending me, but he only shook his head before returning to his stand and packing up. The rest of the band followed his lead without saying another word. I’d disappointed everyone in this room, especially myself. Nausea assailed me, and I clutched my stomach, trying to keep the contents at bay. I couldn’t let them down tonight. I just couldn’t.

Del placed his arm around my shoulders as we left the stage area and whispered, “You better come through tonight like I know you can.”

I looked at the camera that followed me closely and bragged, “Watch me make all these men eat it tonight.”

I fingered my sobriety coin as I walked with my head held high back to my dressing room despite the mental beating I’d just taken. My nerves had gotten the best of me, and I couldn’t afford to mess up. I had to have something just in case I couldn’t calm my mind. I would only use if it werenecessary. If I couldn’t walk out on that stage ready to kill it, then and only then would I break three years of a promise to myself. Three years. I’d spent three long years using prescribed instead of recreational drugs to control my moods until I stopped taking meds the day I signed on with Del. I believed I didn’t need anything but my sheer will and talent. I had been good,sogood at fighting the darkness. I could and would do it again, even if it wasn’t tonight.

I clenched my hands. I wouldn’t mess this up. I wouldn’t be MILA again.

I paused at the door of my dressing room to put on my happy face, ignoring the weight of guilt that made holding my head up harder. I pretended the sadness that engulfed my heart was determination and grit as I greeted my glam squad with a wide smile. I had to be the best and do whatever I needed to do. My entire comeback depended on it.

Chapter Four

landon

Undeniably, Janae killed it. Stompedher performance into the ground. Her command of the stage stole the show from Cash. When she sauntered out, singing the hook for Cash Black’s latest hit, “Players Play,” the stadium came alive. Every last person jumped to their feet, clearly excited to see their hometown hip-hop princess, destined to be the queen of superstardom until scandal silenced her. The roar of the crowd initially covered the music and her voice. The audience probably couldn’t believe that Janae was back and seemingly better than ever. Del had kept news of her comeback at the rodeo a secret for this very moment.

Confident, bold, and beautiful in her fitted red suit, Janae never broke her stride, her face serious and determined. She didn’t acknowledge the crazy attention and mad energy from the sold-out crowd. She stalked across the stage back and forth, her clear, strong, and raspy voice sending chills down my arms as I played to her rhythm, slowing down the song, and The Hollow Bones followed. Even Cash bopped his head to her groove and changed the flow of his delivery. The song ended all too soon, much to the disappointment of the audience clamoring for more of Janae as she twirled to face the band. Her back was to the audience with her head bowed as if in prayer.

The venue lights shut off for a few seconds. Complete darkness filled the stadium. Cash hurried to the side of the stage to take a breather. I tucked my head to my chest, and the sole blue spotlight focused on my fingers as I plucked the first sparkle of notes to her biggest hit, “A Lonely Woman,” which damn near caused pandemonium.

Red lights hit Janae as she gripped the mic in her hand. She rapped at an almost inhuman pace while bouncing with every step without sounding out of breath. When she finally stopped and held her mic to the audience, they sang the chorus at the top of their lungs. She looked back at me and signaled for the music to cease, allowing the stadium of her fans to sing a cappella. Janae spread her arms wide, dropped her head back, and closed her eyes. Tears streamed from the corners of her eyes as thousands of people told her she was forgiven for her trespasses.

After the crowd finished singing, Janae lifted her head without wiping away her tears, and we resumed playing. She sang along with the crowd and hooked her arm around Cash Black’s neck playfully as he returned to the stage. He lifted her in his arms to hug her tightly, much to the crowd’s approval.

Cash planted her on her feet and announced, “Your hometown girl, the artist formerly known as MILA, Janae Warner.”

She waved at the crowd and yelled into her mic. “Thank you, H-Town, always. I’m back and better than ever. Don’t forget to follow me on all socials as Janae Warner, and be sure to check out me and The Hollow Bones on our limited-run tour.”

Janae took a bow before blowing kisses at Cash as Cedrick began playing the intro to his next song. She danced suggestively to his music, much to the crowd’s delight, on her way backstage. As she approached the curtain on stage, Janae stopped before me. Her eyes were shiny and bright from the thrill of performing.

She whispered, “Thank you for being my knight.”

Then she kissed me. Her soft mouth was pressed to mine as if it were the most natural conclusion to her show. Although the noise level was deafening, it didn’t match my heart beating through my chest. She teasingly tapped my nose and rushed off the stage.

Still lost in the feel and sweet taste of Janae’s lips, I almost missed my cue to join in and quickly recovered. I had to reorient myself to my guitar, and I never lost focus when I played.

I’d also never seen a more dynamic performer.

The five members of The Hollow Bones walked into Porter House in the Galleria area of Houston for the after-party to loud applause. We were escorted to a section beside the golden-lit bar. The cool and elegantly smooth vibe of the restaurant was perfect for someone like me. It was not too big, and dark enough to allow me to duck off into some remote corner yet remain near the action if I needed to appear involved. Black Heritage Night had been a resounding success, from the sold-out show to the phenomenal performance of Cash Black, featuring The Hollow Bones and surprise guest Janae Warner. Champagne bottles popped and flowed freely throughout the area. I tapped my glass to the others, though I didn’t drink the pink bubbly. Del had already asked for water, fried lobster tails, shrimp deviled eggs, king crab and avocado stacks, mac and cheese, and the fluffiest yeast rolls at our table.

In times like this, I could hide in plain sight, surrounded by my closest friends. Cedrick sat on one side of me and Brian on the other. Santiago and Charles buffered the ends of our booth. Cedrick kept holding up his phone to take selfies of us eating and drinking, celebrating our first successful run at the rodeo.

Cameras for the reality show were already stationed, waiting for Janae. When she entered the restaurant escorted by Cash Black and Del, her first hit song, “Premier,” blasted through Porter House. She grinned to wild applause and waved her arms high in the air to her song, making her flowy yellow dress rise high on her thighs. She wore a white velvet cowboy hat, and her black hair was slicked into a low bun under it.

“Are you ready for the circus for the next two months?” Cedrick joked near my ear.

“Ten more shows. I’m counting by the shows and not the time span,” I responded, unable to tear my gaze from Janae as she enjoyed being the darling. She seemed different tonight… still sexy and gorgeous, but mellower and eerily calm. Cash had a possessive hand on her lower back while they were escorted to the bar table in front of our booth. Cash sat down without holding the seat out for Janae, which Del did before joining them.

Brian commented, “Del is excited tonight. His jaws have to hurt from all that cheesing.”

Cedrick added, “He should be. He put us together, and miracle of miracles, it worked.”

Janae scanned the bar as if looking for someone, and her gaze found mine. She didn’t smile, then she returned her attention to Cash and the small crowd around them. I picked up my glass and drank the cool water to hide my smile. I shouldn’t have been pleased that she’d sought me out, except I couldn’t stop the heat that had invaded me since she’d kissed me on stage. Maybe I was just starstruck because although we’d been in the studio together, I’d never seen her perform live. Sooner or later, Janae would remind me she was human and walked among us mere mortals.

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