Page 103 of This Side of Beautiful

“Then I would know he truly forgives me for everything. I hurt him the most. He lost serious money bailing me out of my mistakes, and I caused drama in his family because he stuck by me.”

Jeri’s brows dipped. “It sounds like he was good to you despite everything you put him through. Are you sure you still don’t have feelings for him?”

I chuckled. “Oh, he wasn’t a saint either. We were taking turns cheating on each other. He just recognized before I did that we were toxic for each other, and because he cared, he didn’t desert me like everyone else. Well, he didn’t until he fell in love. He’s a different man now. Guess my ego was hurt that I wasn’t enough to change him.”

Frankie laughed. “Girl, you can’t change a man unless he wants to be changed. Maybe he grew into a better person, just like you did. He just happened to find love again first. Let that nonsense go, because Landon loves the air you breathe. All the women trying to get at him everywhere we go, and he doesn’t even flinch.”

I turned around on my stool to face them. “This real-love shit is crazy. Like this man barely raises his voice at me even though I deserve it half the time. He likes the quiet me and even the parts of me that are loud and need constant attention. He’s not walking around jealous if I smile or hug another man. He trusts me, though he’s fully aware of my past with men. I clung to Adam because I didn’t have anyone else and not because I couldn’t be without him. We were together for four years.

“It’s only been three months with Landon. Yet if we broke up, I don’t know how I would be able to function without him. I’ve never felt like this about anyone.” Overcome with conflicting emotions about the worthiness of love meant for me, I covered my face, and they huddled around me.

Frankie said, “You’re messing up my makeup.”

“We have time to fix it,” Jeri replied. “She’s having a moment, and we’re going to let her have it.”

I lowered my hands and looked at them both. “Is this what it means to have female friends?”

“Yep. We’re here for each other.” Frankie started applying my makeup again. “If it wasn’t for your taking a chance on me, my business wouldn’t be growing, and I wouldn’t have met Cedrick.” She blushed. “He needs a lot more work than Landon, but I’m good kicking it with him.”

Jeri sniffed. “I’m happy you’re my friends, but I’m not trying to find love. I’m too young to settle down.”

I wagged my finger at her. “Brian is sweet on you, so don’t break my brother’s heart.”

“He’ll live. We’re messing around and he knows it.” She backed away from me. “Now, let’s get ready for this show so we can party all night.”

Frankie turned me around to face the mirror. “Let’s get it.”

I exhaled, pushing out the darkness, feeling more like the light I needed to smash my performance. I touched my face. “My hand is warming up.”

Someone knocked at my dressing room door, and Jeri answered, “Hey, Del.”

Del stuck his head in and said in a low voice, “Your mother is right behind me, and she’s dying to see you.”

I snarled, “I thought I told you after the show.”

He held his hand up. “I know. Give us a few minutes,” he told the ladies.

I waited until they’d left. “Del, there’s a reason I wanted to wait until after the show.”

“She has flowers and wanted to at least speak to you. I can tell her you only have a minute, and she can join us at the after-party.”

I pulled at my T-shirt and leggings. “Yeah, I still have to get dressed.”

“The cameras are outside, too.”

“Del, this isn’t the time nor place.”

“I’ll talk to the producer about cutting this part if we need to. It’s going to be fine.”

I rolled my eyes. “You and Landon owe me. He insisted I invite her here too.”

Del’s chubby cheeks glowed with excitement. “Comeback is a success, a new man, and reconciliation with family. Reality TV gold.”

I took a deep breath.Relax. It’s just your mother. Afew minutes of torture, and then she’s gone.Orshe might surprise you and be nice.

I unclenched and clenched my hands twice. “Send her in.”

Del opened the door, and my mother walked in, beautiful as ever. Tall, curvy, with twinkling brown eyes, a button nose, and a luminous smile that hid the cruelty that lurked underneath. Like a fine wine, she’d aged well, appearing far younger than her forty-eight years. Cameras followed her as she opened her arms wide. “My Honey-Nae.”

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