Page 115 of This Side of Beautiful

I stiffened slightly, the easy moment shifting into something heavier. “No.”

Janae wasn’t deterred. “You’ve always just guessed at what you might be dealing with?”

I ran a hand through my hair. “I figured I had anxiety because of the panic attacks. Thought maybe I was autistic at one point, but I don’t fit that category either. At least not now. I have outgrown some of the things I used to do.”

Her voice softened. “Maybe it is time to stop guessing and actually get answers. You grew up in a violent home, Landon.”

A muscle in my jaw ticked. “I’m good.”

She studied me for a moment, searching my face, but I wasn’t ready for that conversation. Not yet.

I stood abruptly, reaching for her hand. “It’s a long walk back, and I want to try that Mexican place on the other side of the lake.”

“We’re done talking?” Janae frowned.

“For now. I have no plans except to be here with you for the next few days. We have time to talk about everything.”

My words seemed to satisfy her, because she allowed me to take her hand and lead her out of the woods.

July 3

“I swear your pettiness knows no bounds,” I grumbled as I steered the pontoon boat, built for twelve, toward the middle of Lake Travis. Janae had insisted we spend the day on the water, swimming and making music just for fun. My guitar rested across two cushioned seats, and the lunch she had packed sat beside her. “Why are we driving this ourselves when we could’ve rented a yacht with a captain? I told you before the tour started that I don’t do water.”

“Again, how do you love nature and not vibe with water?”

“I’m from Brooklyn,” I replied flatly.

“Can you even swim?”

“Of course,” I said, insulted at the question.

She smirked. “I wanted you to steer the boat so I could have access to your body the whole time.”

I chuckled, prying her hands from my arm and moving them higher. “I want to enjoy this day before you wear me out. Let me steer this boat while I still have energy.”

“I can drive too.” She reached for the wheel, and I popped her hand lightly.

“Hey, that hurt,” she protested.

“You have many talents. Driving isn’t one of them, and I’d like to survive this day.”

She rolled her eyes. “How about you take us near that sandbar so we can chill for a bit?” She pointed toward a small patch of land near the edge of the greenish-blue lake. We were mostly alone in this section of the lake, with only two boats floating in the distance. “Then you can tell me about that conversation with your mother this morning… if you actually heard anything.”

“You knew exactly what you were doing when you changed in front of me, and then you took your sweet time cooking and packing while wearing that.”

“Who, me? In this old thing?” She gestured to the bright pink bikini peeking through her matching mesh cover-up. I had never seen her in a bikini before, and when she pranced around the house this morning, my focus had been shot to hell.

I turned the wheel toward the spot she’d pointed out. “My mother wants me to help her talk to my father about the divorce. I don’t see it going well. He has never listened to me, and he still thinks of her as his property.”

“Maybe this is her way of trying to get you two to talk,” she suggested, lowering her sunglasses and leaning back against the seat, soaking in the sun.

“Maybe.” The sounds of the lake and distant chatter settled me, easing me into a conversation I probably wouldn’t have had under any other circumstance. “I like it out here. My mind races, but my body is always churning, twisting, gnawing. Since we’ve been in Austin, I’ve felt… calm. Until now, I couldn’t talk about my family, let alone how their marriage affected me. Even my guitar couldn’t make that easier.”

“Or maybe you never had anyone you felt safe enough to talk to about them.”

I nodded, a small smile tugging at my lips. “I never thought I’d meet someone like you.”

She stretched lazily. “Apparently, since we were only supposed to be here a few days, and I heard you tell your mother we’re staying until mid-month.”

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