Page 117 of This Side of Beautiful

“Ugh, all these fish are surrounding me!”

“Do they bite?”

“I don’t think so. It just feels weird.” She swam quickly back to the boat. As soon as she reached it, I grabbed her hand and pulled her in, stepping back as she climbed aboard. Water dripped from her skin, and I peered down at the lake, watching the small, brightly colored fish darting just below the surface.

“Yeah… that’s unsettling. Much prefer butterflies.” I grabbed a towel and wrapped it around her, resisting the urge to hold her close.

Janae clung to the towel and narrowed her eyes at me as I took another step back. “Seriously, Landon?”

“I mean… those fish were all over you. I’m glad you made fried chicken instead of fish for lunch.” I guided her to a seat. “Sorry, Nae, no sex for you out here. You need to get clean first.”

She huffed dramatically, flopping into the seat with her arms crossed. “Wow.”

I chuckled, grabbing my guitar. “Not until you shower.” I started strumming. “Before you get stuck in attitude mode, tell me what song this is.”

She shot me a glare. “I’m not playing.”

“Suit yourself.” I strummed the strings. “People forget that Prince was an otherworldly musician. That Bruno Mars and H.E.R. can kill a guitar just as well as they sing.”

Janae leaned forward. “No reason to be jealous of anyone. Your talent is unmatched.”

She looked around at the vastness of the lake. “No one knows us out here. Be the you that no one sees. Just play.”

For the first time in a long time, I let go.

Chapter Thirty-Nine

janae

July 20

We were nearing the endof our time in Austin, and soon we would have to decide what came next. For us. For him as a solo artist. For me and my music. Del had been calling, wondering when we would resurface. I had to go back to Los Angeles. Landon needed to figure out what his future looked like.

Most nights, I could not sleep, knowing that before we left here, before we returned to the real world, I had to bare everything to him the way he had to me. No more half-truths. No more hiding.

I watched him sleep. His long lashes curled against his cheeks, and his chest rose and fell in a slow, even rhythm. He was finally getting the rest he needed. Finally at peace after years of warring within himself.

I had never been so drawn to someone. I could spend every second with him and never grow tired of it. For five weeks, we had lived like tourists, trying new restaurants, shopping, and driving around this green oasis of a city in a state known for dry, flat land. We debated everything from politics, TV shows to the top five entertainers of all time and whether New York really was the best city in the U.S. We hid behind shades and hats when we wanted to go unnoticed and took quick selfies with fans when we could not. We even did a pop-up performance ofBaby I’m a Star,me singing while he killed the guitar.

We made a good team. Onstage. Offstage.

Being together and away from everything had been healing. I slept more. He relaxed more. If we had known every day would feel like this, we probably would have eloped.

Still, I owed him more. He had given me his whole truth, and I had expected him to move past my mistakes without doing the same. He had stood in front of the people who mattered and declared his love for me, and I had dismissed him like a crack addict chasing my next fix.

I could hear Dr. K’s voice in my head, sharp and unwavering.Stop playing the victim.Own your choices. Own the consequences.

As dawn painted the sky in muted pastels, my mind felt clearer. I stretched, slipped a robe over my naked body, and stepped outside to the courtyard.

I had been so proud when I bought this house. I pictured it filled with friends and family, hosting long dinners, lazy Sunday mornings, and laughter echoing through every room. And yet, I had barely spent any time here. No one had ever visited. The vision I had for this place never came to life.

For a long time, I regretted that Adam never saw this house. Now, I was glad. The only man I would ever have memories of here was Landon.

Austin felt right for him. He blended into the city’s pulse effortlessly. Even in public, when fans approached, he never seemed rattled. I wondered if he had ever truly been at home anywhere before this.

I stepped to the edge of the courtyard, surrounded by lush greenery, closed my eyes, and lifted my arms, palms facing the sky. I let my senses take over, just as Landon had taught me on our quiet train rides.

I heard the world move. The chirping of birds. The rustling of leaves. The distant hum of crickets.

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