Page 12 of This Side of Beautiful

“Ooh, you remember my name. While you’re yelling at me, tell me what hotel you’re staying in.” My adrenaline overrode her heaviness as I carried her like she weighed nothing. I ignored my discomfort of unexpectedly being surrounded by people.

“Nope.” She still struggled against me, and I didn’t place her down until I’d buckled her up in the passenger seat of the Range Rover. We sped off past the patrons coming out of the restaurant, including an angry Cash and a surprised Cedrick.

And this was only day two.

Chapter Five

janae

March 9

The aftermath ofbeing underthe influence always hurt. My temples usually pounded viciously, my mouth was dry as cotton, and my body ached from head to toe. This morning had been no different. I’d been sober for three years. Over a thousand days of struggling not to take a sip, a puff, or a pill. Each day had been a challenge, and I’d thrown it all away because I didn’t believe Janae Warner was enough. I had old connects here, and I’d called one for Xanax bars and ecstasy. He’d shown up to my suite with a wide grin as we exchanged money and product.

I’d thought I could perform clean. Five minutes before I stepped on the stage, my hands had trembled so badly that I’d dropped the bars twice before I placed them under my tongue. I’d cursed my weakness, my defective mind, and allowed the drug to take effect, and I didn’t let anyone down except myself.

I squeezed my eyes shut trying to stem the tears before they could fall. What was wrong with me? All that therapy meant nothing when I was faced with the real world. I turned over and curled into a fetal position. Cool sheets brushed against my bare skin. Only lace panties hugged my hips. Which man did I sleep with last night? He must have slipped my panties to the side, though I felt no traces of the aftermath. At least he’d used a condom, whoever he was. Probably Cash. He’d found excuses to touch my ass and my hips, and I allowed it before my brain became foggy. “A Lonely Woman” was a song I’d written and my personal anthem for how I felt most of my life. After I’d killed the show, I didn’t want to be alone at the pinnacle of my night, even if it meant being with an asshole.

I slowly opened my eyes, almost afraid to see whom I’d slept with. Only empty, rumpled white satin sheets greeted me. I scanned the large, exquisitely decorated blue-and-white suite that opened into an expansive balcony. This room didn’t seem like Cash’s style. The midmorning sun’s brightness burned my eyes, and I squinted to decipher where and with whom I’d landed.

It wasn’t the first time I’d woken up disoriented. I’d just hoped my last time, more than three years ago, had actually been my last time. God’s grace had kept me for fourteen years of mostly reckless sexual behavior, and I didn’t plan to test him again when my life was starting to line up.

Then, the shower, which had been incomprehensible background noise, suddenly became clear once the faucets were turned off. I pulled the sheets around me and pushed up against the cushioned headboard to see which lecherous man had used my lack of inhibitions to his advantage.

Landon walked out of the bathroom, bare-chested except for the large white towel wrapped around his waist. His dark caramel skin glistened from the shower’s spray. His clothes, which were always a tad too large, had clearly hidden his natural, muscular frame. Landon even had a well-defined Adonis belt that led to his large manhood outlined underneath the white towel. This man with the thick, wild curls on top of his head that I longed to touch had transformed from an attractive nerd to a man I wanted to have. Possibly again.

“Wait… not you?” I said aloud before I realized it. Landon didn’t seem the type to take advantage of a woman. “Did we have sex?”

Startled, Landon pulled out his earbuds. “Good morning.” The rich timbre of his voice evoked chill bumps on my skin. “Sorry about walking out like this. Thought you’d sleep longer.”

He hurried to the large walk-in closet and didn’t reappear until he had donned a T-shirt and cargo shorts and held another pair of shorts and a tank in his hand.

Landon passed me the clothes from the side of the bed. “Elastic should hold up the shorts. I might be able to find a safety pin. The tank might dip lower than you prefer, but you’ve worn less in public.”

“Where’s my dress?” I pressed the clothes to my chest. He seemed to be evading the question of whether we’d had sex or not.

Landon looked away and grabbed his watch off the nightstand. “Got ripped.”

“Ripped?”Was the sex that wild?

His gaze narrowed. “What do you remember?”

I shook my head. “Going inside Porter House.”

“That’s it? You don’t remember my fighting with you and Cash, and trying to bring you back to your hotel?”

“No. You fought with Cash?” I looked around the suite that opened up to a large balcony with a lake and woods in the background.“How did I get here if you tried to get me back to my hotel?”

“I wasn’t trying togetyou. I was trying to protect you.”

“From Cash? What happened?”

Landon sucked his teeth. “Such a waste.”

“Fuck you.” I hurriedly pulled the tank over my head, ignoring the pounding headache that returned with a vengeance now that he’d insulted me.

“Fuck me? What’s wrong with you?” He backed up.

“Oh, you can have sex with me, but I’m a waste?”

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