Page 130 of This Side of Beautiful

I’d already called ahead and told my brother I was on the way to talk to him and my mother. He said he would support whatever I had to tell her because he had his own issues with Mama deciding to date a man who’d sexually abused his sister. He told me that it was just her at home today. Antwon wasn’t there.

I pulled in behind a silver Lexus SUV in the driveway. It must have been Rashad’s car. He’d worked himself up to manager at a local oil change shop and had been doing well. He’d told me that his seven-year-old son, whom he’d been raising on his own for the last three years, would be with him. I hadn’t seen my nephew since he was a toddler, and I couldn’t wait to know him a little again.

I nibbled on my nails while I sat in the driveway until I remembered I’d stopped biting my nails once I left my mother’s house. She’d had way too much impact on me, making me regress to that teenager who bit her nails. No more. I couldn’t and wouldn’t give that woman any more energy after today.

The front door opened, and my brother walked out with an excited smile. I hopped out of the car, and he lifted me off my feet into a bear hug. He hugged me so tightly that I felt all the love he’d ever had for me in his embrace.

He pulled back to look at me and then dragged me back into his arms. I tapped his back. “Okay… okay… I got it. You missed me.”

Rashad laughed and dropped his arms. “Still my baby sis.”

We both looked toward the house and sighed loudly.

He looked down at me. “You ready?”

I stared at the modest four-bedroom home in the southwest area of Houston, a far cry from the rental we’d once had in the Third Ward. “The first thing I bought with my advance was this house, and you know what she said… that she would’ve preferred the money.” I chuckled, though the sound had no humor.

“We don’t have to go inside. We can get Mexican or barbecue and pretend like we’re ordinary people, and we can hang out at your hotel,” he offered. “When she got back with dude, I moved out. I wasn’t subjecting my children to a fucking molester. I only visit her now so she can see her grandchildren. I can’t be around her negativity anymore. Toxic is toxic. It doesn’t matter if it’s our mother.”

I half smiled. “You sound like my old psychologist. No, I need to see her. The more I’m able to fight real demons, the less likely I’ll fail again at the false ones.”

We stood side by side as I rang the bell, like we were selling internet services and not visiting our mother.

A round-faced boy with the biggest cheeks dressed in a polo shirt and slacks opened the door, looked at his father, and then at me. “Are you Auntie Nae Nae?”

Oh, how he looked like my brother at that age. I stooped to kiss his cheek. “In the flesh.”

“Me and my daddy listen to your songs all the time.” He hugged my neck warmly and smiled up at his father “You told me I would like her, and I do.”

My eyes welled up at the innocence that a creep like Antwon could steal if he were given a chance. “I already like you too, and after we leave here today, you’re going to come to stay with me and your daddy at my hotel tonight. Is that cool?”

He looked up at me. “Do you play the drums?”

“No, but I do have a tambourine.”

“Can you teach me?” he asked, his face brightening.

“I can. When you visit me in Austin or Los Angeles, I’ll have some drums for you to play.”

Rashad grabbed his son in a headlock. “Boy, leave your auntie alone. She already told you we’re hanging out with her tonight. We’ll order room service and everything.”

He hugged his father around the waist and looked up at my brother with love.

I nudged Rashad. “Look at you being Daddy.”

“I’m trying. I know I’m a better dad than that deadbeat of ours. At least I show up for my children,” he said firmly.

“How many times have I told you to come get me before opening the door, RJ?” Our mother appeared. “Janae? You didn’t tell me she was coming,” she said to Rashad.

“I asked him not to say, and I won’t stay long,” I promised, not wanting to be in her presence longer than I needed.

“Stay as long as you like. Even if your boyfriend kicked me out of your little party.”

“For good reason,” I retorted, already regretting coming.

Rashad only nodded.

“Have you forgotten how to talk?” she asked him impatiently.

---