Page 131 of This Side of Beautiful

“Oh, you talking to me now? A few minutes ago, you had nothing to say to me. Just wanted to spend time with RJ,” Rashad snapped.

“It’s cool.” I hugged my brother to me. “We’ve been catching up and making up for lost time. We realized that we allowed you to get in the middle of us. He and I don’t have any beef with each other, yet we haven’t spoken in years until a few months ago, and that’s not going to happen again.”

Our mother tilted her head. “I never kept you apart.”

I wagged my finger. “It’s the doubt you put in our heads. That Rashad must not care about me. Or ‘your sister don’t call you anymore because she too busy for you.’ You know, those doubts that we don’t love each other that you kept stirring up in our minds.”

Before Mama could respond, RJ pulled her and me by our hands into the foyer. “Grandma, we’re going to her hotel after this so she can teach me the tambourine.”

“Oh, is that the plan?” She looked up at me and Rashad.

Rashad responded, “Just RJ and me. We’ll get the girls from their mother to stay with us tomorrow.”

Her nostrils flared. “Why are you here?”

“Are you still with Antwon?” I asked.

She lifted her chin. “I broke up with Twon, and if you’re here to start trouble, you might as well leave.”

I cracked my neck to try to release my tension. “I can either say what I have to say to you in front of RJ, or we can talk privately. Either way, I’m not leaving until I say what I need to say to you.”

Mama cut her gaze to my brother. “Is he going to hear whatever you have to say too?”

We both nodded. “Yep.”

“If it was me, I wouldn’t give you another chance, bringing that bastard around Janae,” he added.

“Another chance?” She frowned.

I bent down. “RJ, if you go to one of the bedrooms and don’t come out until we say so, we’ll have cookies-and-cream milkshakes at the hotel, okay?”

The boy’s eyes rounded, and he rushed out of the foyer.

Mama folded her arms. “What do you have to say to me?”

“Why?” The simple question rang loud and clear.

She waved her hand. “I shouldn’t have brought Twon to Los Angeles. I didn’t think how it would affect you. It’s been years, and you’ve had men since him. I didn’t think it mattered.”

“The man tried to rape her and you think that wouldn’t affect her?” Rashad thundered.

“I told you, she went after Antwon to spite me and then lied to you when she got caught. You believe anything your sister tells you.”

“You sound straight crazy. I’m going to the car. I can’t do this. I don’t want to disrespect you, Mama. I ain’t got time for this.” He walked deeper into the house and yelled, “RJ? Let’s go.”

Wearing a confused frown, RJ rushed back into the foyer. “Yes, Daddy?”

“We’re going.”

I added, “You did good. We’ll have the milkshakes, promise.”

RJ hugged his grandmother around the waist, and she patted his back while still glaring at her children.

Rashad held his son’s hand. “When you finish, we’ll be outside in the car waiting for you.”

I touched my brother’s arm and smiled, grateful that he’d been there for me thus far. Now, everything else was on me.

Once the door closed behind him, I turned to my mother, my voice trembling under the weight of years of pain. “Why do you hate me?” My chest tightened as I forced myself to keep steady. “What did I ever do to make you hate the air I breathed, when all I ever did was live for you? All I ever wanted was to make you proud.”

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