Page 135 of This Side of Beautiful

He closed his eyes briefly and pushed out his breath. “Can we get past this?”

“I don’t know. I’m not mad or bitter. Just numb when it comes to you. That night changed everything for me and Janae. She is and was the love of my life.”

“She still could be.” He leaned forward. “I did crush hard on her. Why wouldn’t I? Bruh, most men love Janae Warner. But that woman could only see Landon Hayes. When we were on the streetcar that night, she barely said a word to me. Her mind was elsewhere. But when she saw you on the stairs, playing the guitar and pouting, the energy shifted, and she suddenly started laughing when she hadn’t even giggled at anything I’d said on the streetcar.”

I chuckled at the memory and how jealous I’d been.

“I knew then that this woman would never give me a shot. Do you know how many men would kill to be with Janae? You’re so afraid you can’t hold on to her that you let go of the best thing that ever happened to you.”

I shook my head. “You don’t know shit about our relationship.”

“But I knowyou.” He pointed at me. “Love is a risk, and no matter how much you want to predict the ending, you can’t. Most people don’t get together thinking they’ll break up, and guess what? Some relationships do end, and some last forever. No one knows what category they’ll be in until it happens. All I know is if that woman was with me, I wouldn’t be going nowhere. She would have to fuck about twenty men and then ghost me, and I would still be waiting by my phone, hoping she’ll call.”

My laughter escaped before I could stop it. “Why are you so stupid?”

Brian snatched up his cell phone and pressed it to his ear. “Ringggg… Hello? Janae? Baby, is this you?Hello???” He grinned, returning his phone to the console. “Shiit… I’m being real. You better get your girl before she remembers she can have any man she wants.”

“As long as that man isn’t you,” I said, half teasing.

“Say less.” Brian put his fist out. “I’m sorry, bro. I won’t jeopardize our friendship and the band ever again. If it’s any consolation, I haven’t taken anything since that night out of respect for you and Janae.”

I bumped his fist.

“So, we good?”

“We will be,” I grudgingly replied. “Now get out of here. I need to focus.”

“I’m out.” Brian rose and exited the room.

I slunk down on the sofa, pulled my phone out of my pocket, and called her number before I lost my courage. Just when I thought it was going to voicemail, she picked up, sounding breathless.

“Landon, is everything okay?”

I replied more nonchalantly than the nerves ringing my ears would suggest I could. “Yeah. Why wouldn’t it be?”

“You haven’t texted or called in three months.”

“You haven’t reached out to me either,” I reminded her.

“Why are you calling?” Her voice sounded cold.

“Checking to make sure we’re cool with each other when we meet up in Austin,” I said feebly.

“I’m a professional. We’ll do a sound check and run the same show we did in New York, and then we won’t have to see each other again for months.” She paused. “If that’s all…”

She was slipping from me once more, and I had to say something. “Did Del tell you what I said?”

“He did. But based on how this conversation is going, it doesn’t really seem like you’re different.”

“Janae, I’m trying.”

“Thisis you trying? Calling me after three months and then not saying much?”

I gripped my phone. “I’ve been through a lot since we last spoke.”

“So what? I have, too. If you’d bothered to check, you would know.”

“Can you lose the attitude?” I grumbled. “I forgot this mean side of you.”

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