Page 16 of This Side of Beautiful

“I also asked for the discretion to determine what could be recorded if past scheduled hours. They recorded everything last night instead of looking out for me.” I jabbed the air between us. “Youdidn’t look out for me. Cash had ill intentions, I was out of it, and you knew it.”

Del dropped his hands. “Janae, I was out of it too. It was a good night, and I indulged a little too much. You arrived at the party with Cash and flirted with him for most of the night. You half listen when you’re sober, so you damn sure aren’t going to listen when you’re high. You practically beat up Landon as he hauled you out of the restaurant.”

His reminder of how I’d treated Landon, who’d stood up for me, only embarrassed me more. “I can’t do this. I can’t handle the pressure of performing with The Hollow Bones. They don’t want me here anyway.” I stalked to the bathroom to grab my toiletry bag. “Sorry for getting you into this mess. I’ll pay you back every dime for the shows you already booked and for the reality show. I’ll sell the house in Austin. Whatever I need to do to pay off my debt to The Hollow Bones and to you. I can’t be here anymore. This was a huge mistake. If I’m going to make my career happen again, it has to be me and only me.”

Once I stalked back into the bedroom, Del grabbed my shoulders. “You just had an amazing show. For a last-minute set, no dancers, no fluff, just straight bars and presence? You pulled it off. You’re trending. Your old albums, Janae, are rising up the charts after one performance. You wanted a comeback, and it’s happening better than I imagined. People love drama and a love story. Your fans believe one is happening between you and Landon. Give them what they want, since there’s chemistry between you. I’ve known him for years and have never seen him come out of his shell like he has for you.”

Ignoring my swell of happiness at Del’s observations, I shrugged. “There isn’t anything between me and him. He was just the only one to care enough to remove me from a potentially dangerous situation. I’m never working with Cash again.”

“You don’t have to, and I don’t want you to either. People aren’t talking about him anyway. It’s all you and Landon.”

I folded my arms. “Me and Landon? Or my performance?”

“Both. You stole the show from Cash, and Landon stole you from him. You’re like the next power couple. It’s your fault for kissing him on the stage in the first place and then leaving with Landon in a crowded restaurant like you did. What did you think would happen? Come on, Janae. I know all of this is overwhelming, but itiswhat you want.” I dipped my head, and he tilted it and studied my face. “Janae, don’t run away from your destiny again.”

Running my hand over my ponytail, I nodded.

Del smiled widely. “Listen, I’m going to smooth things with the band later, but I think you should cut a song with them to be released right before the ten-city tour starts.”

I scoffed. “They’ll never agree. They hate me.”

“They love fame and fortune more than they hate you. You need a song with an award-winning and respected band like them,” he reassured me. “You’re letting your nerves get the best of you. You already proved you still got it, and the fans know it, too. At least do these ten cities and a record with them, and then we can take it from there. If you’re done after that, we’ll cut our losses and move on. At least you won’t owe anyone.”

I shook my head. “I can’t use anymore. Three years wiped out just like that after one performance because it wasn’t just me on that stage.”

Del raised his hands. “That’s on you.”

I rolled my eyes. “It’s not just on me. I need help, Del. You know my history.”

“I do, but I can’t hold your hand. If you need your therapist or sponsor to travel with you, then I can arrange it. I’ll make sure the dressing rooms in each city are free of alcohol, weed, and other drugs. Other than that, it’s about the choicesyoumake.” He picked up his phone. “Figure out whatever you need to do to stay clean, because you can’t quit, or you’ll be sued by everybody, including the insurance company I had to get before any venue would secure a date. You can’t afford to lose any more money. Selling your home in Austin wouldn’t begin to pay back who you would owe, including The Hollow Bones. They’ve already threatened me with lawsuits if you cancel on them again.”

I flopped back on my bed.

He held his phone to his ear. “What do you want me to tell the film crew?”

“I’ll talk to them.”

“Good girl.” He clapped. “I can’t get over how amazing you were last night. I need you to remember it, too. This is your dream, one that most people will never get to experience.”

I stared at the ceiling long after he left, rubbing the sobriety coin I’d worn proudly. I traced the Serenity Prayer engraved across it one last time before I snatched it from my neck.

Chapter Six

landon

The sting of themarksher nails left on me inspired my creative flow while I showered, and I couldn’t wait to play my guitar. Janae had been aggressive and mean, and I’d remained calm through it all. Usually, the exuberant expression of any emotion drew me into a shell like a scared tortoise. Janae’s wildness had incited my peace. The type of peace I experienced when I hit the perfect note. The constant gnawing inside me had vanished while I handled Cash and Janae.

How could that be? How could she erase years of anxiousness and discomfort by needing me, especially because she didn’tknowshe needed me?

I wasn’t the hero in anyone’s story. I had no desire to be the center of attention. I was more drawn to the secondary characters in a story than the protagonist, and yet I’d been the main attraction.

In the makeshift music studio, the panoramic view of the man-made lake surrounded by woods provided the perfect backdrop for our practice space. I smiled at the brightness of the day as I strummed the guitar and jotted down a few notes under the title. The title could possibly change, but the bittersweet twang of each pluck would remain.

I sensed his presence before he complimented me.

“Love it already.”

Without turning my head, I replied, “Yeah. No matter how we end up arranging it, the guitar will lead in on this one.”

---