Page 18 of This Side of Beautiful

“If that’s the case, you need to leave Janae alone and not just for the cameras.” He strode back to his instrument and ran his hands across the keys like a child who didn’t yet know how to play. “We both know she’s trouble. We lost money the last time we worked with her, which we never recouped.”

I grumbled, “Don’t interrupt my flow with this bullshit. I came down here for peace and music.”

Cedrick’s hands went up. “Woah, we’re only having a conversation. This won’t be the last time she’ll do something stupid. You’ll want to protect her every time. You were ready to fight Cash at the rehearsal and hit him at the after-party. All because of Janae’s actions.”

I raised my voice. “I couldn’t let him disrespect her, or worse, rape her.”

“She’s a grown-ass woman who can choose how she wants to move. You can’t save her from herself. All that does is keep you hooked to a woman who’s no good for you.” He added in a quieter tone, “I know you, bro.”

“No, you don’t.” I twisted my neck to release the tension building there. Cedrick and I didn’t argue or fight. “As you so eloquently put it, I’m a grown-ass man who doesn’t need any advice from you about Janae or any other woman.” Although I had just told Janae I wouldn’t save a woman who didn’t want to be saved, I didn’t want to admit that to Cedrick, whose smugness grated on my nerves.

His brows rose. “One night with her, and you have balls now?”

“I’m done talking about Janae. Play or leave.”

Cedrick blew a raspberry and counted off. When I began strumming the first chord, he easily picked up the rhythm. The tension dissipated as the music permeated the studio. I disappeared into the melody, hoping we wouldn’t continue fighting over Janae yet accepting that we probably would.

Later that night, I chilled alone by the pool, wearing only basketball shorts. My hands were propped behind my head as I studied the midnight-blue sky. Being outside was my way of unwinding. I’d loved astronomy since I received my first telescope when I was six. I loved whenever I had a moment to admire the universe. If I were ever brave enough to ink my skin, I would definitely have a crescent moon or some representation of the celestial.

Needing this solitude to recharge before our show tomorrow night, I stared up at the stars, the planets, and the large yellow moon, which was presenting tonight as a crescent — my favorite view of it. The moon fascinated me because it was always round, but we saw different versions depending on its orbit or rotation. Like me, I was always Landon, yet people saw a different version depending on my environment and mood.

The first time I recognized the beauty of a clear, dark sky full of sparkles was when I was about seven years old. Growing up in Brooklyn and currently living in Harlem seldom offered me an unobstructed, clear view of the night. Maybe I should have bought some property in the South, or somewhere else where I could enjoy God’s beauty. The gnawing didn’t exist in the presence of greatness.

“I guess you don’t like answering your phone.”

A clean-faced, ponytailed Janae, wearing my hoodie and a pair of black leggings, stood behind my lounger and smiled down at me.

“Not when I’m playing music or enjoying the galaxy,” I answered.

She looked up at the sky. “That sounds like how I’m fascinated with butterflies. They seem so mystical. Reminds me that there’s something so much greater than me.”

“Truly beautiful.” I admired her.

Janae smiled as she returned her attention to me.

“You look funny from this angle. Almost alien-like,” I teased.

She giggled. “So do you.”

“How did you get in? It’s just me here. The others are running the streets.”

“I texted Brian, looking for you. He gave me the code.”

“Brian?” I raised a brow. I wasn’t aware they had exchanged numbers. Then again, he’d been less vocal whenever we discussed Janae.

She shrugged. “He might be the only one besides you in the band who doesn’t hate me.”

“Quite possibly.” I gazed at her before admitting, “I’m glad you’re here. I didn’t think I would see you again until New Orleans next month.”

She glanced around the backyard and then back at me. “When I left here this morning, I didn’t think I would ever see you again.”

“Canceling on us?” I asked without any bite.

“I was. I don’t handle rejection and failure well,” she admitted. “I was about to give up on myself and my dreams, which is my prerogative. There’s a reason I don’t have friends. I can get stuck in my head and forget I don’t operate in isolation. But this tour isn’t just about me. This is your showcase, your journey too, and your opportunity to grow your fanbase and for those fans to see how mad talented you are. The pressure of disappointing myself and The Hollow Bones got the best of me, and I wanted to run.”

“What changed?”

She smiled shyly. “I wanted to be the type of woman you would be interested in.”

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