Page 20 of This Side of Beautiful

“Only the special ones.” Janae grabbed my face and kissed the corner of my lips. “And because you’re so damn cute.”

I groaned. “I’m not a puppy, Janae.”

She propped her chin on my chest and traced my lips with her fingertip. “I’m fully aware that you’re all man, Landon Hayes. I do want you. I offered myself to you twice, remember? I agree we shouldn’t have sex. It muddies everything, and I get very possessive. And I would be totally in stalkerish mode with you.”

“So, Petty Patty and Caulky Stalky?” I chuckled. “If you really got to know me, I doubt you would get possessive with me. You thinkyou’rea lot…” I whistled.

Her eyes grew soft. “Then it’s a good thing we have time to get to know each other, because I’m not going anywhere.”

Janae laid her head on my chest like she’d always belonged there. Soon, her slow breathing lulled me into comfort, and I hesitantly placed my arms around her. Even in sleep, her body responded to my embrace, and she nestled against me. I kissed the top of her head, wondering why this complicated woman was so determined to get next to me and under my skin.

And why I liked it so much.

Chapter Seven

janae

March 10

I woke up next toLandon for the second morning in a row. I tried to talk to him about the single last night, but the time wasn’t right. I needed to do it today to get my career back on track.

We were in his bed, and he slept soundly on his stomach. He faced the wall, so I could only study the curls on his head and his toned back. He didn’t seem the gym type, yet he must have done something to define his chest and back.

At some point in the night, after we’d fallen asleep on the sun lounger, he’d nudged me awake, and I held on to his waist as he brought me back to his bedroom. I’d crashed into bed, and he jumped in the shower. When he rejoined me, his skin smelling like soap, I’d cuddled against his warm, strong body, and though he stiffened as he had outside, it didn’t take him long to relax.

I could admit that I could be needy. I had no shame in my game. I needed a man, needed his strength and his warmth. My neediness had gotten me in trouble and kept me too attached for too long to a man who I’d known no longer wanted or loved me. I didn’t trust women enough to have female friends, so my world had been men since I’d been a teen. And after two days back in the game, I needed someone on my side. I needed Landon. I would do my best not to screw him over with my tendency to be rash and impulsive. His calm would mellow my storm.

I lightly touched Landon’s back, wanting him to turn over and fuck me. Yet I knew it would jeopardize our tenuous brewing friendship. I wanted to be different with him. Ihadto be different. The old Janae, who didn’t care, had ruined her career. I had to control my impulses and mood. I couldn’t run or self-destruct every time I became uncomfortable. I also couldn’t have sex with Landon and not expect it to mean something.

“How did you sleep?” Landon’s voice was rich and deep in the morning. Sexy without his even trying.

I squeezed my thighs together. I probably couldn’t continue to sleep in his bed and expect to remain friends without benefits.

“Okay. Thinking about my life and why I’ve made so many mistakes so young. So many that I can’t afford any more. I’m not even thirty and have been through way too much drama.”

“One theory on why?” he asked sleepily.

“My mother.” She popped into my head without thought. Ebony Tanner. One of the most beautiful women I’d ever seen. A woman I’d lived to please until I realized through therapy that she would never be satisfied.

“Ahh… That mother will do a number on you. More than those fathers will,” Landon said sagely.

I continued touching his back before he moved or told me to stop. “Should I go see her and my brother, since they’re only about twenty minutes from here?”

“I forgot that since you’re from here, your family probably lives nearby.” He flipped over to his side when I did, and we faced each other. “Did they come to the show?”

“No. I never invited them.”

Landon nodded slowly.

“You don’t want to know why?”

“Do you want to tell me?”

“Not yet.”

“Then don’t.” He smiled slightly.

“Yeah.” I looked down. “I should at least go check on them or something, right?”

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