Page 34 of This Side of Beautiful

Imaginary hands suddenly squeezed my lungs, and black spots appeared in my vision. I clasped my hands together as I backed away. “I’m sorry, so sorry. I have to go before I really embarrass you.”

I hurried through the back door only to collapse against the side of the house, praying for the hands to stop pressing against my chest and lungs so I could breathe. I reached for my cell in my pocket, needing to call Cedrick, who knew how to reset my brain when the emotions became too much.

The text from Janae startled me.

I’m drowning. I need my life jacket.

My relieved laugh sounded more like a hiccup in the quiet of the night. The pressure on my body lessened with each ring as I waited for her to pick up.

“I’m drowning, too,” I softly admitted when she answered the phone.

“Really?” She sniffed.

“I’m sitting on the ground against the back of my parents’ home in the dark because I got into it with my father. I don’t think it can get worse than that.”

“Try sitting in the LAX bathroom stall, scared to walk back out because suddenly people remember me.”

“That’s pretty bad.” I chuckled before I gripped my cell tighter. “I’m glad you called.”

“Glad you answered. I didn’t know if you would.”

“Yeah, sorry about how I acted at the house yesterday. I’m not the best with my emotions.”

“I didn’t think you apologized.”

“I don’t unless I mean it.”

“Is that a jab?” she asked.

I grinned. “Not at all.” I checked my pulse on my neck, and it had slowed down.

“I really do need to leave the bathroom. My film crew are outside wondering what’s happening.”

“Then stay on the phone with me, pretend it’s the most important call of your life, and wave at anyone trying to approach you.”

She giggled. “That sounds like it might work.”

“I do it all the time.” Finally able to breathe normally, I pushed up against the wall and walked toward the front of the house.

Dr. Howard exited the brownstone as I headed to my car. She noticed me and quickly refocused on her blue sedan parked on the street. My heart softened at how she quickened her pace to avoid me. I’d hurt a woman because I was mad at my parents, and if it were not for the woman on the other line, who’d made me her moral compass, I might have pretended I didn’t see Dr. Howard.

“Give me a sec,” I told Janae.

I held the phone against my chest and walked to meet Dr. Howard on the street. “Doctor, I’m sorry for my behavior. I’m not the best around people. What happened in there had nothing to do with you.”

She smiled. “I hate these parties too. Everyone is so self-important and phony. People probably had been staring at the food in my teeth the whole time. You actually had the sense to tell me.”

I shrugged. “I didn’t know not to tell you until you were embarrassed that I did.”

“I see.” Her expression sobered. “I only came tonight to meet you. Your parents always brag about you, and I wanted to see the talented young man you’ve grown up to be. I’ve watched your performances over the years.” She pointed at me. “You’re every bit of the puzzle people think you are. That makes you rare and unique. Don’t ever change. Use my card if you ever consider teaching at Juilliard.”

I opened her car door, and she gave me a motherly pat on my chest. This time, her touch didn’t bother me. “You be safe, doctor.”

“You too, Landon.”

I closed her door and then strode to my gray electric ride. “I’m back. Are you still in the restroom?”

“Dude, did you just get asked to teach at Juilliard? I heard some of the conversation,” Janae exclaimed.

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