Page 44 of This Side of Beautiful

The touch of her finger on my hand while her eyes flirted with me was so erotic that my pants tightened. “So damn distracting.”

“That’s the point.” She lowered her head to press her lips slowly on my palm. “Did I tell you that the guitar is my favorite instrument, too? Maybe you can teach me how to play. Like stand behind me, with your arms around me, and guide me.”

My words were caught in my throat at the brush of her lips. I shook my head. This woman would destroy me. Time seemed to stand still as lust darkened her eyes.

She kissed my hand again. “You have nice, long fingers. The way they glide across those strings.” Janae’s lips curved into a wicked smile. “Tell me, Landon, do you fuck as good as you look?”

We heard footsteps on the stairs before I could answer in the affirmative, my willpower gone. Grateful for the intrusion, I moved away from Janae. “I better go.”

She hopped down. “Think I’ll catch the trolley. I can’t sleep.”

I gripped her wrist. “Not alone and not wearing that. It’s four in the morning.”

“I haven’t seen my father in forever, and you’re not my man.” She dared me with her pretty eyes and twisted her wrist from my hand. “Bye.”

Brian walked into the kitchen. “Am I interrupting something?”

Janae didn’t break her gaze from mine. “Nope. I can’t sleep, so I’m catching the streetcar.”

He rubbed his hands together. “I’m down. Let’s go.”

“See, Landon? I won’t be alone. You can sleep peacefully knowing I’m with Brian.” She wrapped her arm around Brian’s. “I’ve been waiting to do this.”

I watched them walk out the front door with smiles on their faces, my jaw tight. That could’ve been me and her. I punched the air. Why couldn’t I just relax? If I fell for her, I fell.

I paced in the kitchen, trying to figure out what to do next. What if she became interested in Brian, who was friendly and… and… normal? Sleep wasn’t going to happen until they came back home. I headed to my suite and grabbed my guitar.

When they returned about forty minutes later, laughing about some joke Brian had told, I played my acoustic guitar on the winding steps leading to the front door. Brian nodded at me as he walked inside the house, followed by Janae, who didn’t look at me. When she passed me, I tugged on the end of her shirt. She removed my hand, but not before I saw her face.

Her pleased smile was enough to settle my soul.

April 16

On Wednesday evening, we gathered around the long dining table. Delicious aromas tempted me from the late dinner Janae had prepared after a long day of rehearsing. Her glam squad, who’d been enjoying the city as tourists, joined us for dinner. Amazingly, Janae had whipped up this home-cooked meal within two hours. I wouldn’t have believed she’d actually made it herself if I hadn’t strummed my guitar at her request while she hummed and prepared the meal from scratch.

She’d pulled out the chair so I could sit at the head of the table, though my inclination was toward one of the other chairs.

“This is for you. Without you, I wouldn’t be welcome here with the band.” Janae chose the seat to my right, and her nervous energy shrouded me as everyone found a place at the table. I squeezed her shaky leg, and she smiled apologetically and stopped moving. “Before everyone digs in, I want to say grace. I don’t know people’s spiritual or religious beliefs, so I’ll just call on God to thank him for bringing us all here together.”

We all touched fists, adopting my style of connection as we bowed our heads and Janae led the prayer.

“Words can’t describe my gratitude for being here with you all. I have been alone and lonely most of my life, and just being around you, even those who aren’t sure they should trust me, still feels like I’ve found the best family. Thank you for allowing me space in your world. I won’t take you for granted. Here’s to more fun and creating timeless music that we are always proud of. Amen.”

When I opened my eyes, hers were still closed, and I impulsively kissed the tear on her cheek. Her eyes popped open in surprise, and she grabbed my face and kissed me. She rubbed the lipstick off my mouth and chuckled through her tears. “Sorry… sorry. I forgot myself. Don’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

Before I could reassure her that it was okay, Charles grabbed my face from the other side and pinched my cheek. “Isn’t he so cute? I want to just pinch his cheeksallthe time.”

Laughing, I swiped his hand away. “I already told Janae I’m not a puppy. Now, I have to add ‘a boy’ to the list.”

Cedrick, who sat at the other end of the table, hit the side of his glass with a fork. “I want to make a toast.” He glanced around the room. “Make sure everyone has something in their glass.”

Janae had made fresh lemonade and tea, though Cedrick and Santiago had added liquor to their drinks.

Once we all had our glasses full, Cedrick said, “If this year so far is any indication, we’re about to go up yet another level. I am hard and tough on you, Janae, and will continue to do so because this business will eat you up and spit you out. Make you forget who you are.” He narrowed his eyes at her. “I hope that the Janae we’re seeing right now is the real you and not a façade to get into our good graces. Time will tell if this is truly you. If I’m wrong, I’ll be the first to embrace you and treat you like my sister.” He slanted his gaze to me and then back to Janae. “But I promise you, if you destroy my family, I will destroy you.”

Janae stilled, and I picked up her hand and placed our entwined hands on the table. “And if you ever speak to her again the way you just did, you’ll have to deal with me.”

We glared at each other until Janae pulled my chin in her direction. “It’s okay. I can’t expect a couple of days and good food to fix what I did to others for years.” She straightened her shoulders and addressed Cedrick. “You’re going to have to get used to my being in Landon’s life. I’m not going anywhere as long as he wants me to be there. I don’t want to hurt him or any of you, including you, Cedrick. Most of all, I don’t want to hurt myself anymore. Now, I made this dinner so we could laugh, joke, and eat some good food that’s getting cold. Can you break bread with me and, for now, put away your reservations?”

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