Page 45 of This Side of Beautiful

Cedrick gripped the glass in his hand while staring at us.

Brian, who sat beside Cedrick, quietly said, “Peace while we eat.”

Cedrick finally nodded.

Janae breathed a sigh of relief before she picked up a bowl of mac and cheese that was paler than the other, larger bowl. She passed it to Santiago. “This is a special vegan mac and cheese for Cedrick. I also made him a rice and bean dish down there next to the green beans.”

Cedrick received the bowl and looked at the rice dish. Wordlessly, he spooned some of the mixture on his plate. The rest of us passed the rest of the plates back and forth, normalcy returning after a tense moment. Cameras had been rolling the whole time, and I would ask for the footage to be cut, though I was sure Cedrick and Del would want to keep it.

“Mm…” Cedrick said with a begrudging smile. “This might be the best vegan dish I ever had.” He pointed to the other mac and cheese. “I have to try the real one if she can make fake cheese taste like that.”

Brian shook his head vehemently. “She made that big bowl just for me. She made you your special bowl. Now enjoy.”

Cedrick punched him in the arm, and the two kept hitting each other like the brothers they’d become until Brian passed him the large platter, and I was finally able to breathe.

Janae whispered, “Can we be alone later?”

My groin tightened at her suggestive tone, and I nodded as I gulped down her sweet lemonade. I wanted her like I’d never wanted another woman. Still, something inside of me knew she wasn’t ready. Janae’s fragility was hidden behind layers of tough walls she’d built over the years. She wanted my comfort to assuage what had just happened with Cedrick. She wanted to forget using her body. And if we were to have sex, I didn’t want our first time to be anything but what it was meant to be.

Beautiful.

I sat on the fluffy rug at the end of the bed with my guitar, anticipating Janae’s knock after she returned from a late night out with the group. I’d remained at the house, playing my music. I needed space and quiet to build up my resistance. One look from those pretty eyes and I was a goner.

Janae immediately fell into me when I opened the door, kissing my chin and cheeks. Before she could touch my lips, I pulled back, searching her face.

She frowned. “I’m sober, Landon.”

“That’s not what I’m looking for.”

Her hand went under my shirt again, rubbing my abs, and this time, I welcomed her touch though I struggled for control. She whispered, “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Do you want to have sex with me tonight because you want to be with me, or am I just someone to use because Cedrick hurt you?”

“What?” Her eyes widened. “I would never use you that way. I can’t stop thinking about how you would feel inside of me. I do want to be with you. It has nothing to do with him.”

“Well, if you want me now, you’ll want me later.” I gestured toward the back door. “Take a walk with me.”

She groaned and looked down at the thick outline visible through my sweatpants that I couldn’t prevent, no matter how I tried to distract myself. “Damn.”

“You’ll find out in time,” I said smugly as I headed toward the back door, knowing she would follow.

“When?”

“Not yet. Impatient Iesha.”

She laughed. “Stop while you’re ahead.”

The cool, crisp April air chilled my face. The clear, bright crescent moon and the sounds of the fountain trickling water into the dark blue pool soothed me.

Janae asked, “You want to look at the stars?”

“No. We’re catching the streetcar.” I opened the back gate, and we walked around the house and down the road. “I want to ride in silence with you.”

She smiled. “I was hoping you would ask me. Why silence?”

“It’s the world I prefer. I want to show you a little of my world. It’s okay to be quiet, Janae.”

“So, we don’t talk?” she asked skeptically.

---