Page 49 of This Side of Beautiful

“Are you still breathing? Because if you’re not, you’re going to pass out any minute.”

I chuckled. “Yes. You were changing my focus. Doc, you’re good.”

“I love that you’re laughing. Even your laughter sounds like a song.”

“I know you lying now.” I laughed again, and my chest felt a little lighter.

“No, ask Landon. I bet he’ll say it too. Can you do that, Janae?”

“Ask him if my laughter sounds like a song?”

“Can you push through this darkness to get to the other side?” she quietly asked. “You have a show tonight, and a promising future in music, and a man who may just get you. If you fall apart, you won’t get to see if this comes true. Can you, Janae?”

“Yes.” I wiped my eyes. “I don’t really have a choice.”

“You always have a choice, no matter what. You aren’t that helpless, powerless girl anymore.”

“I meant that I don’t have a choice to push through because I don’t want meds, and I want to see how far I go in my career. If it’s meant for me with Landon, I want to see what happens, too.” I sniffed. “Oh, God, with all this crying, I’m probably all puffy.”

“Tell them it’s allergy season if you don’t want to tell the truth.” Dr. K chuckled.

“I like that.” I crisscrossed my legs, ready to fight again.

I took a gulp of air and stepped back into the world. The sounds of The Hollow Bones rehearsing drifted through the air as I walked down the stairs. When I stepped into the kitchen, my heart skipped at the sight of a hatless Landon leaning on the counter with a plate of pastries before him.

“You ever had a beignet?” He smiled wide, causing slight wrinkles in the corners of his eyes that would no doubt make him more distinguished as he aged.

“I heard a thing or two about them.” I walked to him and tugged on his curls, which I hadn’t seen since we were in Houston, and he wrapped his arms around me like it was the most natural thing for us to do. “You smell good.”

“So do you.” He tightened his embrace, and in his arms, I felt safe. Landon frowned when he studied my face. “How did you sleep? Your eyes are puffy.”

“Good.” I looked up at him, grateful that at least that part was true, though I saw the question in his eyes and how close our lips were to each other. He seemed to notice, too, and backed away. I bit down my disappointment.Let him take the lead and notsee it as a sign of rejection.

Landon pushed the plate of powdered-sugar-dusted fried dough toward me. “Try it. Might make you feel better.”

“I’m good. Slept a little too long.” I leaned over the plate to bite into the pastry and instantly adored the light, sweet taste of the doughnut. “Mm… oh my God. This is sooo good.”

Landon smiled again. “I thought you might like it. When I’m alone, no one recognizes me. So I caught an Uber to Cafe du Monde.”

“Why didn’t you wake me up? I would’ve gone with you.” I took another bite.

“I can tell you haven’t been sleeping. You needed that more than hanging with me.”

“Or maybe hanging with you is exactly what I needed.” I grinned, allowing more and more light into my body. “Why do you cover that pretty hair of yours? It’s your glory.”

He dipped his head. “Now you’re sounding like my mother.”

“How could she not spoil you? You were probably the cutest baby with those gorgeous eyes and curly hair.”

His grin faded. “Yeah.” He looked past my shoulders. “I’ve been gone a while, so I’d better head back to rehearsal. I’ll tell them you’ll be down soon.”

“What did I say? You just went cold on me. I don’t care if you like to wear hats all the time.” I dusted the sugar off my hands.

Landon didn’t quite meet my eyes. “You didn’t say anything. I waited for you to come downstairs. Now you’re here, and I need to get back.”

“How long have you been waiting?”

He tapped the counter and walked away. “I would’ve waited forever if I needed to.”

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