Page 18 of Ruin

I push back from the table, grab my bag, and plate of food, and bolt upstairs.

I slam my bedroom door shut, throw my bag on the bed, and set my plate on the bedside table.

Then I lock myself in the bathroom.

So I can cry in private.

Falling to my knees in front of the sink, sobbing.

Tonight is going to be hell.

He will come to my room.

He will hit me.

He will rape me.

And there is no one who can help me.

No one cares enough to stop him.

I rip off my bracelets, throwing them onto the tiled floor. I yank open the draw, pulling out the blade.

I bring it to my wrist.

There are scars already there.

From the times I’ve let out pain before.

Pain is all I know.

I live through pain every night when he comes to my room.

It’s a pain I hate.

A pain that makes me sick.

But this pain?

This is a pain I can control.

This is mine.

The only thing I have the power over.

I close my eyes.

The blade slices through my skin.

I lean my forehead against the drawer, and let it flow.

* * *

I stare at the dark blue periwinkle delphinium flower on my locker.

I swear this is just getting annoying now.

For some reason, my gut tells me it’s Declan. The only reason I even think it’s him is because the color of the flower matches his stupid car, the one he keeps crying over.

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