Page 53 of Ruin

“Since the summer.” Lileah sits up straight and nods, then Mason slaps my back.

“How do you know you’re fucking her good if you can’t hear her?” Mason says it out loud so even Trixie can hear. I’m not even surprised, he doesn’t care most of the time about anything.

“Not your business, asshole.” My words make the three of them laugh and I lean back in the booth and grab Trixie’s bag. I take out her pocket sketchpad and a small bag with pencils in it. Leaning in closer I whisper, “Draw.” She has sharp nails, and she’s digging them hard into her skin. I can see the scratch marks. “If you want to scratch something, my back is always open.” I lean back, smile at Beth, who’s standing by the side of the table to take our order.

Everyone lets Beth know what they want, and I tell Trixie to let her know her order, and she signs at me to tell her. “No, tell her yourself.” Trixie looks back down at the menu. I’m here with her now, but if I wasn’t, she would have ordered herself. One thing I have noticed about Trixie, she doesn’t write what she wants to say to others. It’s almost as if she was happy not to have a conversation with anyone.

Lileah said she wrote something in a note pad to her once when they were at my practice. I think it’s the way she talks to the guys she’s with at lunch. But if she has the choice, she’d be happy not to communicate with anyone.

“I’ll get your order ready.” Beth gives us a smile, then walks away, and I leave Trixie drawing on her pad.

“Mom called, said she’s trying to convince dad to spend another month out there. She’s loving Europe,” Hayden tells us.

“From the pictures she keeps sending us, it looks like it. I think they should stay,” I add and sip on my drink. My brothers look over at Trixie, and I can already tell they’re going to be assholes.

“So, is black the only color you wear?” Miles is the first to ask her a question, and she shakes her head. The only other color I’ve seen her wear is dark red, which is almost black if you ask me.

“Do you have any pets? You look like a girl who likes spiders, maybe even a tarantula,” Mason asks, and she looks at him for a moment, then shakes her head. “Wow, so talkative.”

I turn to Trixie as she slams her hand on the sketchpad. “I only wanted to look at it,” Lileah tells her.

I look at Trixie. Her entire body tenses up, and she slowly moves her hand off the pad as she feels me staring at her.

“This is amazing. Do you design your own clothes?” Lileah asks, and Trixie looks at me, and I give her a nod, letting her know I’ll answer for her.

Yes, I like to design clothes, and sew them.

“Do you think you can design something for me? I’ll pay for all the material, and everything else you need, and of course I’ll pay you.” Lileah sounds a little too excited. Not sure I’ve seen her like this since mom and dad got her tickets to watch Taylor Swift.

I wait for Trixie to answer, but she doesn’t and I’m not sure why, she’s going to make money and do something she loves to do. Lileah looks at me, then slides the pad back to her.

“Are you going to the party this weekend?” Lileah asks.

“She is,” I answer, which makes her head snap to me, and she shakes her head. “Get out,” I snap at her, and I take the sketchpad off her and put it into my back pocket. I get out of the booth, grab her arm and pull her outside so my brothers can’t see how pissed off I am. “What the fuck is your problem?” I ask.

I don’t want to go to the party. I don’t like anyone there.

“Well, you’re coming. Lileah asked you to design something for her, and pay you. You said nothing. Why?” I don’t even know why the fuck I care, but she’s being fucking rude, and it’s pissing me off.

I don’t want to. All I want is to go back to being the girl no one knows. But because of you-

“Because of me! You’re fucking joking, aren’t you? I’m pretty sure everyone knew your fucking face, when you fucking set my car on fire. You think I’m the-” I stop myself talking, as I know I’m getting louder. People are watching me as they walk past us. I take a step closer to her, grab her chin so she’s facing me. “You started this. I’m just finishing it. And for pissing me off, you don’t wear anything under your skirt at school tomorrow. I get to play. Now get inside and don’t piss me off.” I open the door for her to walk back in. I go to follow but stop when my phone vibrates in my pocket, digging it out I open the door, and look at the message.

Anonymous

Nice to see you out of the house, not worried that I can kill you anytime I want.

Anonymous

Look down.

I look down at my chest and see the red dot on my white t-shirt. What the fuck? My heart beats like crazy, anticipating the bullet about to pierce my skin, waiting for the pain to hit me.

I hear yelling, and it takes me a moment to see my brothers shouting for me to get down as they rush over to me. But before they can reach me, the dot is gone, and I look around to see who it could be. Why the fuck did they not kill me now? They had the perfect chance too.

My brothers stand around me. They’ve told us they want my family to feel the pain of losing me, so they won’t hurt them, which I still don’t understand. Whoever it is, seems to only want my blood.

We walk back over to the booth, and I look around the restaurant, wanting to remember everyone here. I might not know their names, but I’ll remember their faces.

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