Page 54 of Ruin

I hear the voices around me, but it’s white noise to me at the moment, I’m still working out who the fuck is coming for me. I know the why. I just need to find out who it is before it’s too late.

I’m pulled out of my daze when I feel a hand on my chest,. When I glance down I see Trixie’s hand placed where the red dot was.

Removing her hand, she signs.Are you okay?

I smile and sign back to her.

Were you hoping they shot me, so you would be free?

My question hits her, and I can see something in her eyes that looks like she’s trying to hide, but she shakes her head.

That’s not funny.

I have to laugh at her reply, then turn to Miles when he keeps tapping my shoulder.

“Phone.” He puts out his hand for me to give it to him, when I see he has his laptop out.

“Like Cain said, don’t show fear.” I look over at Lileah, and I see the water in her eyes. “Hey, I’m good. Plus, if something happens to me, you’ll be the baby of the family,” I joke, trying to lighten the mood for her. “I’m good.”

“You are less than two minutes younger than me-”

“Still younger,” I tell her. It’s a fight we have all the time.

“And you haven’t been well since you got back from the summer. Don’t hide it, because I know.” The others turn to her, waiting for her to say more. They say twins know what the other is feeling without even having to talk to them. Mason and Miles are the same, and Lileah knows my head is still not in the right place. “You haven’t slept more than a few hours since you got back-”

“You said you took the pill and slept!” Mason shouts at me. “What the fuck? What the hell happened to no secrets?”

I lean back in the booth and get ready for all of them to attack me, but what they don’t know is I’m very good at blocking out the noise now. A summer of words being thrown at you, you learn to block it all out. How am I meant to tell them I can’t sleep because the monster who attacked me in my cell still haunts my nights? How do I tell them it’s the worst place on earth? Yes, I left The Pit because I fought and won, and had to kill a lot of people for The Pit to give me any respect, yet it scares the hell out of me. How do I tell Cain I want The Pit, but I’m not ready for it?

“Declan!” Hayden slaps his hand on the table, and I look over at him. “Eat, then we go to the club.”

I look down at my hand when Trixie places hers on top of mine, interlocking her fingers with mine to stop them from shaking.

Once I calm down a little, she pulls her hand away from mine, and I don’t like it. She signs.

Someone tried to shoot you. Shouldn’t we leave?

Never show fear and always have faith in the Crawford men. Always.I sign back at her.

Fear is nothing but walking alongside darkness. Never show it your fear otherwise it will ruin you.

THIRTEEN

DECLAN

The music is blaring,the bar is full when we walk into the club, and every booth has a group of men and women around them. One thing about Skyline, there is a mix of men and women here, sometimes even more women than men.

Cain is going to fucking lose it when he finds out I’ve been lying to him about my sleep. Then there’s the new messages and the fucking red dot. This meeting is going to be a fucking nightmare.

Dinner was quiet and quick. Lileah tried to talk to Trixie, but it was more of a one-sided conversation. Not even sure why Lileah was trying to talk to her, she wasn’t getting any responses. As soon as I’m bored, I’ll get rid of her.

The crazy fucked up thing about dinner is that the moment Trixie held my hand, there was something that rushed through me. It was as if she took all the fire burning around me and calmed it down. How? I have no fucking idea. She tried to pull her hand out of my grip a few times, but I held on to it, the only time I let go was when I turned to her and I could see she wanted to say something to me. If, for a small moment, I could feel anything but hurt and pain then I was going to take it.

Is it crazy to think, if I lay next to her in bed I could get a few hours of sleep? Maybe if I’m lucky, it might happen.

“You want to hit the sixth floor after the meeting?” Mason asks us all. I shake my head. I’m not in the mood for anything. “Are you going over to Trixie’s? With her nails, I’m surprised we haven’t seen the claw marks on your back.” He jokes, and I look over at him and snap.

“I think my scars would cover them.” Mason laughs as we walk into Cain’s office, and I smile when I see Autumn. Hayden is the first to give her a kiss on the cheek and say hello, and we all follow behind him. It’s because of her we’ve got Cain back into the family. I would drop everything for her without even questioning why.

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