Page 55 of Ruin

“I will leave you boys to talk about whatever it is you talk about.” Autumn leaves the office to go to their apartment above the club.

As soon as the elevator doors close, Hayden talks. “He’s been lying.” He points at me, and I look behind me as Lincoln walks in to join our fun meeting.

“About?” Is the only word Cain says. Fuck, there’s the tone, the tone of no one fucking lies to me.

“Sleeping. He’s not sleeping. And-” Hayden stops when Cain puts his hand up, gets up from his chair and walks to the front of his desk. Right in front of me, his devil eyes burn into mine.

“How long are you sleeping?” he asks.

“Enough to feel like I’m okay.” I know it’s not an answer, but there isn’t a right answer for me. Cain stares at me for a moment, and I wait for him to shout, but he doesn’t, and then he turns to Hayden.

“What else is happening?” Sometimes I want to punch Cain. He’s a fucker with his poker face.

“A red dot. They could have shot him but didn’t. Why? D, give him your phone.” Hayden is pissed off, but I let them talk, and I sit down on the couch. I’m really not in the mood to be here right now.

“Are you planning on hiding here all the time, Pretty Boy?” the man I met on the first day here asks. Which feels like months ago, but it was only two fucking days ago. Two. Fucking. Days.

“I don’t feel like getting stabbed again, not just yet anyway. How long have you been here, Big Man?” I ask. I know we can’t give names, and it’s too much energy to say out his full number.

“Long enough.” He walks into the cell and leans on the wall, and glances over at my tally on the wall. “My wife was raped and murdered. She was mute so couldn’t scream for help, and I made sure the bastard who did it felt the pain, too.” His voice is calm, as if he’s talking about something simple, like sports or cars.

“You killed the man who raped your wife?”

“No, I killed his wife while he watched.” His answer makes me sit up straight. I knew coming in here I was going to meet some fucked up crazy people. But I’m not sure I’m going to meet anyone worse than him.

“And you’re here because?”

He laughs at my question, a big full laugh shaking his head. “The man is the head of one of the biggest mafia families in America. He wants my head, and right now he’s not getting it. I’ll get out of here one day, and I’ll knock on his door and tell him I want a fight. I would rather die while fighting than a bullet in my head.” He moves his hands as if I’m meant to know what the fuck he’s doing. I don’t.

“What are you doing?” I ask him.

“Pretty boy, people here are clever. They know when to attack, and who to attack. You’re on top of their list right now. Not sure why, but I like you.” Cain’s words echo in my ear, trust your gut, and right now my gut is telling me Big Man is a good man.

“Declan,” Miles shouts my name. “You back with us?”

I look over at Cain. He’s watching me like a hawk. He’s tracking my movement and reading me. “I want to go to The Pit. Show them who I am.” My brother’s turn to me, but I don’t look at them. My eyes are locked with Cain’s, showing him I’m doing this with him next to me, or alone. “They know me. I don’t know who they are. I need to talk to someone, see if they know who it is.” Standing up, I walk over to Cain standing an arm’s length away from him. “You always told me to trust my gut, and I did. There was only one man I trusted, when he finds out who I am, he won’t betray me. That’s how much trust I have in the man.

Cain glances over at Lincoln before turning to me. The Pit knows who he is, and even knowing the risk, people will come for him.

He turns back to me. I say, “You took me to The Pit, because you wanted me to help run it-”

“You’re not re-”

“Cain, no one is ever fucking ready to take over that place, but I did everything you asked. I never lost a fight. Whoever it was could have easily killed me today but didn’t. Why? I want to know who I’m fighting.” Cain still stays quiet and looks at his watch.

“The man you trust in there. You know why he’s there?”

“Yes, and I looked up the mafia too, and I don’t blame him for being down there. Now I want to go to The Pit,” I almost demand this time, and he smiles.

“Let them know Cain Crawford is coming, with his brother,” he tells Lincoln, then turns to me. “Let’s go.”

* * *

The drive to The Pit still makes my stomach turn. I know I’ll walk in there tonight and I’ll be able to walk out when I’m ready, but it still makes me feel sick to the stomach.

“Are you sure about this?” Cain asks, as he parks the car. I watch Lincoln getting out of his car to open the gate.

“I can’t fight someone I don’t know. They know who I am, which means people in The Pit know who I am. There’s no point in hiding from them.” Yes, maybe it was a split second decision to come here and show my face to everyone, but the more I thought about it, the more it makes sense to do it.

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