Page 68 of Ruin

“Pretty Boy, if you get out of here, then count yourself lucky. Find a girl. Now get punching.”

Find a girl. I still remember Big Man's words. Damn I remember all his words, well the ones which made sense, anyway.

But those three words have been hitting my ears every second of the day since the party. Trixie has somehow knocked down the wall I had built for anyone to get close to me and has me thinking about her all the time.

How can I let her get close to me? I don’t sleep, I’m pretty shut off with the family with what goes on in my head, and she hasn’t even seen the scars I have. How am I meant to explain them?

It took everything to stay away from her this weekend, and the three days of school have been torture in a whole different way than The Pit. She walks around school in sexy gothic dresses, showing off her tattoos, which makes her look even more fuckable.

God, I want to fuck her so bad. I want to feel how tight she would be around my cock, how her naked body brushes against mine, or how her moans would fill my ears and make me harder than I already am. Fuck.

I’ve stayed away from her because I don’t know how much longer I can hold myself back from taking it too far. There is no way in hell she'll have sex with me after everything I’ve done to her, and there is no chance in hell I’m raping anyone. So, backing away from her is the best thing for both of us. Even though it’s killing me, to the point I’ve been hand fucking myself in the shower.

It’s going to be a long fucking year seeing her every day. There are only so many classes I can miss, and I’m stuck with her for English. I said I would help her get her grade up for Math, but I can tell her to do it herself. The less time around her the better.

So, what have I been doing with my time? I’ve been sitting here. Two days now, and it’s taking everything in me not to walk in there and unload every bullet in my gun into the child porn watching bastard's head. And I’m sure he’s told the family about me.

I’m watching his every move. I got Miles to hack into his phone for me, because I need to know everyone he is talking to. He has told someone about me, and I can’t wait to find out who it is.

My sight glances over to the clock, eleven in the morning, then my phone pings with a message again, and I already know who it is. Lileah, she has messaged me on the hour asking where I am.

Lileah

Get to school. You can’t fail.

Looking back up at the house, I shake my head. How the fuck did Cain let him be the one to look out for me in The Pit? I don’t fucking get it. The man is a sick bastard. The amount of child porn on his laptop is disgusting. The thing which pisses me off the most, he lives in front of a goddamn school.

My attention moves to my laptop, he’s calling someone. Making sure everything is set up so I can track the number and wait for the person to answer.

“What?” The guy answers.

“Where the fuck is my money?” I knew this had to be about money. “I told you about him.”

“It’s coming, did you like the present we sent you?” he asks, and I look up at the house. What present, I haven’t seen anything, it must have been before I started watching him.

“She was nice.”

My blood boils, my hands around the steering wheel turn white with how tight I have a hold on it. The bastard touched…I shake the thought out of my head before I throw up in my car. How is this man alive? He won’t be for long?

“Then be happy with that for now.” The man snaps and the line goes dead, and as I go to open my car door, my phone rings.

Now normally I don’t believe in fate or shit like that. Fate isn’t something that would stop me from going in, but this time, I do. I can’t go in there and kill him, it’s the middle of the fucking day, and a school full of kids across the street. Fuck.

Slamming the door shut, I answer the call. “I’m on my fucking way.” I end the call on Lileah, and drive off to school.

I need to sleep, I need to…I need to fuck someone, anyone to get the taste of Trixie out of my system. I need to kill someone, because I’m letting a fucking pervert live. “Fucking hell,” I shout to myself.

At least I don’t have class with Trixie, so keeping away from her should be easy. I can just imagine in my head how good her lips are around my dick, how the tears escape her eyes as I fuck her mouth. I can’t touch her, but I can imagine as much as I want.

* * *

I should be sleeping. It's one in the morning and I can't sleep. I close my eyes, and two things stay on my mind. The Pit or Trixie. You would think both these things would be different but yet they’re both hell.

My brothers came to the school once they finished for the day and said we were going to Skyline. The last place I wanted to be, because I wanted to sit outside the bastard's house again. Wanting to make sure he didn’t get any more gifts, or leave the house to find himself a gift.

But they wouldn't take no for an answer. Mason said to either shut up and drive there, or he would kick my ass and make me go, which made me laugh, because he would. I couldn’t tell them what I was planning because they would have told Cain. If he finds out I’m not sleeping or not going to school because I’m watching him, I’m sure Cain will start babysitting me, or worse have Lincoln follow me everywhere.

I know we have our location turned on for each other, but I turn it off while I’m there and so far no one has picked up on it either. I’m hoping all this will be over by the time they realize what I’ve done.

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