Page 73 of Ruin

“I hope you don’t plan on sleeping. I think we can go a few more times. This was just the starter.” He winks, gets off me, and goes into the bathroom.

So, this is what sex feels like when you actually want it—a wild ride and a heady high all at once. I’m going to enjoy it as much as I can, because in my house, there’s only one way it happens. And when it does, Declan can take me on this ride over and over again.

* * *

Four times I had sex with Declan, before he finally let me rest. And that was only because I couldn’t physically move anymore. I never thought sex could be so good, but Declan has shown me it can be mind-blowing.

I jolt a little as Declan carves something into my skin with his knife. I still don’t know what he’s cutting into me, but he told me I came six times, so he will cut me six times, and I’m excited for it.

Declan licks the part of my skin he’s just cut, then kisses up my stomach. “How can every part of you taste so good?” Declan kisses me, and I laugh against his lips.

He lies on the bed, and tells me to get on top of him, and I do because this guy makes me feel something I never thought I would. Special.

He places his hands on my thighs, rubbing them up and down.

What are you cutting into me?

My question makes him smile, and his fingers move over my skin.

“My name. You’re mine now.” I smile but on the inside I want to cry. I don’t even know if it’s because I’m happy or if I’m scared Robert will see it.

How can I be his? Because the moment I go back home, Robert will be there and he’s not going to stop touching me.Stop it!I shout to myself. Don’t let your thoughts about the asshole ruin the moment you have now. Enjoy this moment before you go back to hell.

I place my hands on his chest, and use the tip of my nail to draw a line down the middle, but stop when Declan grabs my hand.

“Now, I do fucking enjoy when you dig your nails into me, and the sight of my back is amazing, but if you want to draw on my chest, get a pen and draw.” He kisses the top of my hand, and I quickly get off him to grab my pencil case so I can draw something. Well, I know what I want to draw, I’ve had the idea in my head for a while.

“What’s with the dragons? The bracelets, the tattoos. There has to be a reason for them,” Declan asks as he taps on his phone, not looking over at me, but he shakes his head at whatever the message says. I wait for him to look at me before signing to him.

They are the symbol of freedom and strength. They’re strong, and I like the way they look.

I look down at his chest, and bring my black pen to his skin and start drawing. I feel Declan staring at me, and I look up at him, kissing his lips.

“You have no idea how beautiful you are, do you?” His question throws me back a little, and I get back to drawing because I don’t know what he wants me to say to him. “You cover yourself with make-up, and I’m not saying it’s a bad thing, but I think you’d look beautiful without it.”

I have to hold back the tears, I almost shout at myself to get it together. If only he knew the truth about why I wear the make-up, or why I got the piercing.

“When did you get all the piercings?” Declan asks.

Placing the pen on his chest, I tilt my head at him, because he is asking a lot of questions this morning.

Do you not like them?

“Fucking love them, you have no idea how hard I get just thinking about them. I’m only asking,” he replies. I look back at his chest, and smile at the design I’ve drawn on him.

I thought it would make me ugly. How did you get the scars?

Not looking at him, I grab the pen to continue drawing. It’s the first time I’ve told anyone the real reason for getting everything pierced. Hoping it would make me ugly so he wouldn’t touch me. I’ve left that part out, and I don’t plan on telling anyone either. It never gets me anywhere.

“You are far from ugly, for me you’re the most beautiful, sexiest woman I’ve ever seen.” Declan’s words pull on the strings in my chest, and the tears I was holding back, escapes and lands on his chest.

And in a quick movement I feel his hand around my neck, and he pulls me to look at him. He drops his phone on the bed and wipes the tears away.

“You don’t see it do you?” he asks but I don't reply. “Start seeing it, because I’m going to be showing you off to everyone.” He stops talking when his phone rings, but he cancels the call. “And one more thing, this barbed wire tattoo, I don’t like it, I fucking hate it. I think it needs covering.”

With what?

“Oh, I have the perfect idea.” He brings his phone up and takes a picture of his hand around my neck. A hand necklace tattoo. He turns the phone so I can see it, and I smile, because this is a tattoo I always thought I would get one day, when I was married with my man's hand around my neck. “I’ll let you draw it.”

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