Page 88 of Ruin

Putting the last of my stuff for school in my bag, I walk over to the door. Lileah?

“Morning.” She walks into my bedroom and stops at the dress I’m sewing for myself. “God, this is stunning. I wish you would design my prom dress,” she says, but I ignore her request wondering where the hell Declan is. She finally turns back to me, and smiles. “Declan got held up, and asked me to take you to school.”

I look around for a pad so I can write something.

Is he okay?I turn the pad for her to read, the look on her face is not helping me relax.

“Honestly, I don’t know.” She looks at me, her eyes lingering on my face for a little too long. A part of me is happy Declan isn’t here, because he would have asked about the bruises he would have seen on my body from last night. “He’ll be fine. Shall we go?” She takes one more look at the dress, then walks over to the door waiting for me.

Grabbing a few more of my bracelets I leave my bedroom, not bothering to say bye to my dad as I leave the house. The less I have to talk to anyone the better. I get in the car, and Lileah puts her music on, and I put on the bracelets. Looking down at my wrists, I know my bracelets are there and what they’re covering, but I want to make sure no one else can see anything.

“Where did you go?” Robert shouts at me as he follows me up the stairs. Why does he think it's any of his fucking business? “Why have you not been answering your phone? Did you let him touch you? How many times have I told you you're mine? No one gets to touch you but me.”

I try to slam the door in his face, but he stops me. Shit.

“You think you can disappear for so long and you're not going to get punished by me? You're joking.” He pulls my hair hard, making me fall to the floor. Then he kicks me, not once, but twice. “How many times have I told you, No one fucking touches you. You are mine,” he shouts at me.

Why is dad never home when these things happen? I curl up into a ball to protect myself as much as I possibly can. He's not even giving me a chance to fight, but I will fight, I’ll punch him and I’m going to make sure it hurts, too.

He turns me around quickly. “Trixie, why are you fighting me? You know I love you and you know I'll treat you better than anybody, especially him.”

Really? Declan has never hurt me the way he does. Declan has never hit me like Robert is hitting me right now.

“I can't believe you let him touch you. Let him touch what belongs to me.” He sits on top of me and kisses me, but I try to fight him by keeping my mouth shut as hard as I possibly can. My nails dig into his chest, pushing him away, hoping it will hurt him enough so he gets off me. But I should know better. I know how much things like this turn him on. A fight, it always turns him on.

No matter what, I lose. So, I sit here and let him do it. He's still going to do it no matter what. If I fight him, he likes it more.

How can I have had the best two days I could have possibly had and have it end like this? I slam my palm against his face, pushing him away from me, and he finally moves.

“You taste of him. I want to wipe every little trace of him off your body.” The second Robert touches me, he wiped away Declan’s touch.

There isn't anything else to say, I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate my dad for bringing me into this life. I continue to fight him, and he slaps me so hard in the face I know it's going to leave a bruise.

There are going to be quite a few bruises after this assault.

I can hear the fabric of my top rip. It's my own fault. I should start wearing thicker material to make it harder for him to rip.

Robert yanks my bra down, exposing my breasts, he bites one of my nipples, sucks hard, and I try to kick him away from me. I need to do anything I can to stop this, anything to keep Declan's touch on me. But it's not working. I feel his hand going down to my pussy.

No, no, no, no.

“Trixie. Trixie.” I turn to Lileah. “Are you okay?”

I give her a slight nod of the head. What the fuck am I meant to tell her, no? It took everything in my power not to end my life last night. It took everything in me to grab a towel and stop the bleeding coming from my wrist. How do you tell someone you were so close to the edge of finishing this miserable life?

Declan made me think that maybe I could fight this, because he would be there for me. Not because he knows about Robert, but because the next day I would see him and forget everything that happened the night before.

I was excited to see him this morning, I was excited for him to touch me and take away Robert's touch. All I needed was for him to hold me.

Even knowing what Declan’s family do, I still can’t tell him about Robert.

“Remember you will always be mine.” Robert leans down to kiss the side of my forehead. He kneels at the end of the bed, moving the hair away from my face. I will never cry for him, never give him any of my tears. Once he leaves I lock myself away in the bathroom and cry. “You can tell anyone you want about this, but remember one thing no matter what, you will always be mine, and I will kill anyone who thinks they can take you away from me.”

Even though Declan has his family and has killed someone in front of me, I know the people Robert talks to. I know he has a good relationship with the police, some in high places too, and then there are his criminal friends. Well, I’ve never met them, but he makes sure I know he has friends who could do some damage to anyone I care about. I learned the hard way. The first time I spoke up about Robert, he got someone to attack my dad, and made it look like a robbery.

So, can I put Declan and his family in danger?

Lileah parks the car, and I quickly write on a piece of paper.

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