Page 129 of Ruin

He takes my book bag from me, wraps his arm over my shoulder as we walk into the cafeteria. I look over at Ash and smile.

Declan hasn’t let me talk to him, and I’ve asked a few times. All I get is that he’ll think about it. I understand why he isn’t saying yes, but I’ve said he can be with me while we talk. I don’t want to be on my own with him at all.

We stop by the hockey team, and Declan looks at Stephanie, and smiles. I’m really not in the mood for her today, so I’m not sure why Declan is bringing me around here.

“How are you, Stephanie?” Declan asks, and she tells him to fuck off. “You’re lucky-”

“Lucky? You’re fucking joking me. No college in the America will take me, and my dad has lost all his business partners,” she shouts at him, making sure everyone in here can hear her. “You are-”

“I would watch what you say. You don’t have any proof I did anything, but one thing you need to remember is that your mother and brother haven’t been touched. If you keep all of this up, things can change.” Declan pulls me in closer and I wrap my arms around his waist. This man is making sure anyone who hurt me one way, or another is paying for it. I can’t help but smile because I’ve hit the fucking jackpot with the best boyfriend ever.

“Asshole.” Stephanie sits back down shaking her head, and he walks away from the table saying he’ll be back in a bit, and she’d better not be there.

Declan walks over to Ash’s table, and tells everyone to leave but him. They do, before he even finishes the sentence. He pulls out a chair for me, and sits down next to me, and we all sit there in silence for a moment.

“So, I’m only going to say this once. You don’t get another chance. My girl said she only had one friend in this place, you. I don’t like you. I don’t know what shit is happening in your house, and right now I don’t care. But you smoke the shit around her, I’ll make sure you can’t hold another joint for a very, very long time. You sell her that shit, and I’ll make sure you don’t walk again ever. Do I make myself clear?” Declan hasn’t taken his eyes off Ash, but he nods agreeing with him. He turns to face me, Declan has never asked me what is happening with Ash at home, but I think he knows it’s nothing good. “I want you to be happy, and if that’s talking to your friend again, I’ll do it. Don’t smoke that shit. Ever.” Declan tells me and I sign.

Promise. Thank you.

He leans in and gives me a kiss, telling me we leave in ten minutes to go home as he doesn't want to stay at school anymore. He turns back to Ash and stands up. “If you ever need the problem you have at home, fixed, you know where I am.” Before Ash can say anything, Declan walks away, and I get my pad out so I can talk to him.

How are you?

“I’m okay, how are you? Not been at school for a while. Rumor was you died.” I laugh, shaking my head at him.

No, but I’ll tell you everything when we're not at school. Don’t want people hearing things, and making their own stories from it. I’m just happy to get my life back to normal.

“What did Declan mean about sorting things out for me?” Ash looks behind me and I look over my shoulder at Declan sitting with his friend, but he has his eyes on us. I know he trusts me, but he also knows my head still isn’t in the right space for me to say no if Ash did offer anything.

I still feel Robert on my skin, I still remember the things he did to me, and I block everything out so I don’t have to think about it. Declan told me it will take time to forget everything, but he’s here for me, and he is never leaving me.

He got rid of my problem, and if you wanted to, he would get rid of yours, too.Once he’s read it, I rip the page out and tear it up into little pieces, and put it into my pocket, so I can burn it once we get back to his house. Don’t need anyone seeing what I wrote.

“Good to know. Are you happy?” Ash asks and I look over at Declan and smile.

I nod and whisper the word. “Yes.”

“Shut the fuck up.” Ash bursts out laughing. “One step at a time, I see.” I nod so he knows I’m finding it hard to talk, but crazy as it is he is my best friend here, the only one who really understands what I’m going through.

You want to come over tomorrow and I can explain everything. I’m staying with Declan.

“Will he let me?” Ash asks.

Yes. I’ll send you a message.I look at Declan standing next to me, and he pulls out the chair for me.

“I’ll see you tomorrow then,” Ash replies.

Declan wraps his arm around my shoulder again, giving me a kiss, as we leave school.

And for the first time in my life, I feel as if I have it in order, there is nothing I’m scared of, nothing I fear, and that’s never happened before.

EPILOGUE

DECLAN

I leanon the wall listening to Robert talk and talk. The fucker can talk some shit. It’s been one week he’s been here. I’ve left him alone. I thought the white room, with no sound, no one to talk to him would make him go a little fucked in the head. But it’s hard to make someone crazy, when they already are.

“She smells like strawberries, and she hums in the shower, she used to hum in the shower, then she started crying. I like listening to her cry, it was her way to say she loved me.” Robert finally looks at me, and smiles. “She loves me, I love her, we’re meant to be together.”

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