Page 26 of Ruin

He walks around me, both hands on my shoulders, and he pushes me to walk. I take the chance to look around his room. It's a pretty simple room, really. There isn’t much here. A king size bed, chest of drawers, and a few weights to the side. Plain for a boy, which I think that’s what all boys’ rooms are like.

“If I tell you to do something, you do it,” he whispers in my ear. Then he stands in front of me, takes three steps back and sits on the bed. “So, now you tell me what you can do to make it up to me.”

I don’t reply, because I don’t want to do anything. If I say I’ll do this, then he knows I’m okay with this fucked up game of his, and I’m not.

“You can pick, or I will.” I turn to Declan, who is smiling at me as if this is a normal conversation with someone. I take in a deep breath and refuse to answer him. His eyes move up and down my body, and then he tilts his head slightly to the right. “Take off your clothes.”

Now, as you can imagine that makes my body tense.

He won’t rape me, he won’t rape me, he won’t rape me.

I have to tell myself repeatedly to believe it.

I don’t know how to play this game. How do I win against evil?

You want them off, you remove them.

The moment his lips curl into a smile, I regret my words. He licks his lips before getting off the bed, and I involuntarily take a step back, which makes him laugh.

“Now, you asked for me to take your clothes off. Remember that, you asked.”

Fuck, he’s right, he isn’t doing anything I haven’t asked of him. Why the hell did I ask him to remove my clothes? I thought it would be the smartest move to make him do it. I thought it would make him doublethink what he was asking. I was wrong. I’m mad that I was so stupid.

Declan stands in front of me, his eyes locked with mine. He places his finger on my jaw, then moves it down my neck. I feel the goosebumps prickle my skin. He moves to the top of my shirt and one by one, he undoes my buttons, pulling out my shirt from my long skirt. The moment his hand touches the skin on my shoulder to remove my shirt, I feel a shock from him.

Not breaking eye contact with me, I feel his hand on the side of my waist, at the zipper of my skirt.

I close my eyes as a tear escape. A tear I’m trying to hold back, but it’s not working. The fucked up thing is, I’m not crying about him removing my clothes, I’m crying because this is the most gentle my clothes have ever been removed.

How fucked up is my life? I’m about to stand naked in front of Declan, and the only thing I care about is how gentle he is?

I quickly open my eyes when I feel his tongue licking my teardrop. “I plan on tasting every part of you.” He lowers my zipper and undoes the button, and my skirt hits the floor. I can feel my heart beating so hard as I wait for him to remove my bra and panties.

I jolt when I feel his hand on my skin. He moves it around the back, and I finally open my eyes, and see he still hasn’t moved from where he is. Why is he not moving away?

My body tenses when I feel his other hand on my lower back, slowly moving his hands over my back, and stomach

Declan lowers himself to my ear and whispers. “So soft, and all mine now whenever I please.”

EIGHT

DECLAN

I’ve beenwith a lot of women, but not one of them felt this soft, nor did they smell this intoxicating. My little toy is going to have me high from just being around her, and I’ve not even looked at her body yet.

Taking a few steps back from her, my eyes are still locked with hers. When I look at her body for the first time, I want to take it all in, every single inch of her.

I sit on the bed and slowly move down her body. Perfect. Every inch is perfect, but my body is boiling when I see the bruises. What the fuck? My eyes dart back to hers. Whatever happened, she’s doing a good job of hiding her feelings.

“What happened?” Her sight glances to the side, so I ask again. “What happened?”

I like to smoke outside my window, and sit on the roof. I smoked a little much and fell-

“From the roof?” I ask, and she nods.

I look back at some of the bruises, studying them. I’ve been hit by men. I’ve hit men and know what those bruises look like. Her bruises look like she’s been hit a few times. But then again, I can see a fall from the second floor roof, leaving some bruises, too.

I don’t care, I shouldn’t care. She’s a distraction to pass the time away for the year.

---