Page 43 of Ruin

For two reasons. One - they closed themselves off from everyone. Two - the ones who did talk? They were fucking crazy. Like mental hospital crazy.

“I’m going to look into these numbers, and cross them with the people you fought with, or the ones you killed.”

I nod and lean back in my chair, staring out the window at the dancers in the cage.

A lot of crap happened in the twelve weeks I was there.

One too many people hated me, and a lot more wanted to fight me because I was a baby down there.

If it wasn’t for all of Cain’s training, I’m not sure if I would have survived.

Cain walks in front of me, and Lincoln behind. This is how much control Cain has of this place. No one is talking to him, nor are they looking his way.

“Fresh meat!”

“Baby!”

“Let’s kill him.”

People are shouting at me, and my whole body wants to turn around and say fuck this shit, I’m out.

These crazy fuckers are going to come for me so quick, because they know I’m the weakest here.

Cain stops, and I look up at the numbers. 666. Welcome home for the next twelve weeks, Declan. Cain takes a step to the side and nods his head for me to get in. He’s not showing me any mercy in front of anyone.

I try to look around, but Cain gets in my way, a warning not to do it. Head down, only talk to the ones my gut tells me to. Cain’s words, follow your gut.

Taking a step into the room, my sight goes straight to the mattress on the floor. I shake my head a little. This is miles away from the comfy king size bed I have at home.

The scraping of the metal door closing makes me jump, and I turn around to face Cain. I’m not hiding it from him. I’m scared. Never been so scared in my life, and for the next twelve weeks, I have to learn to mask every emotion which runs through me. I have to learn how to read people, know the person’s moves before they even do it.

Cain nods his head for me to get closer to him, and as I move, I hear him shout. “Lights out!” The whole Pit goes dark. This has to be a fucking joke. I have to sleep in this hellhole with nothing but darkness. “Hand,” I hear Cain whisper, and I put my hand on the bar and feel Cain take hold of it. “Hide it.” He places a knife in my hand, and pulls me so my face is on the bars. “I’m watching everything. No one will hurt you, I promise you that. Show them you control this place, you’re in charge. Be a Crawford.” Cain lets me go, and I hear him walking away, and I listen to the shouting mostly toward me. When the cages open in the morning, I’m going to have to fight. New meat for them to all feed on, and I have to show them I’m not a little boy they can beat. I will fight until I have nothing left in me.

I jump when I hear the woman screaming, a scream which is full of torture, and there is nothing I can do about it. She screams again, and my body tenses up because this is all I’m going to hear tonight.

“What about the people who wanted to fight me? The ones who kept asking for a fight?” I turn to Cain, and he watches me for a moment. I’ve seen him zone out on us, now I know where he goes, The Pit.

“I’m looking into them.” He stands up and pats my shoulder a few times. “The nightmares will stop, the screams will stop,” he tells me as he walks back around to his chair.

“Have they stopped for you?” I ask him, because I know they haven’t. You can see it in his eyes.

“Go home, get some sleep.” He sits down and watches me again as I don’t get up.

“You said you wanted me in The Pit tonight. Why?” I ask, and why has he changed his mind?

Cain sits down, and looks at Lincoln, who then leaves the office, and Cain leans forward, elbows on the desk. “I wanted you to go to The Pit with me, to show them the Crawfords are the ones who are in control. But you’re not ready, you still have fear in your eyes. The mention of The Pit, and you stiffen up, your eyes change, they are scared, and you flinch at every sound which reminds you of the place.” Cain stops and leans back in the chair. “You can’t control The Pit if you fear it.”

“So how do I control it?” I ask, I don’t want Cain to think I let him down, or he picked the wrong brother. I want to stand next to him down there, and show them the Crawfords are a family you don’t mess with.

“We will get there, but right now you need to sleep, and we will go to The Pit, but when it’s lights out. So no one can see the fear. Everyone will be in their cage. We will go every week if we need to, but you will be like me soon down there. You’ll learn to zone it all out, Declan, the shouts, the screams, the insults, you will zone it out, and think of something happy.”

“And what did you think about?” I ask him, since he picked me to go to hell, he is more open with me, a bond which he has with me, and not the others.

“Dad, grand-dad. They helped me through it while I was there, and when I got out. Find a happy place. Now go home and take a tablet, and sleep.” Cain gets back to his paperwork, and I get up from the chair and tap on the table for Cain to look at me.

“I won’t let you down.”

“I know you won’t. I trained you-” he smiles before adding. “I wouldn’t have picked you if I thought you would fail.”

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