Page 6 of Ruin

I’m going to have fun. Not just because I get to play with her, but because I’m going to enjoy breaking down all the walls she’s been hiding behind.

THREE

TRIXIE

15 YEARS OLD

I watch the blood seeping from the cut on my wrist. I want it to ease my torment, but it never does.

The only thing it does is give me the pain I’ve started to crave, and I hate myself for it, because it’s his fault. The pain he inflicts on me is wrong. I know it’s dirty, but now I cut myself to take control, and give myself the power to enjoy this pain. I want control over at least one part of my life, if it’s the last thing I do.

I wipe the tears away and lean my head against the bathroom door. How did this become my life? How can this be happening to me?

He tells me I can’t tell anyone. No one will believe me, but maybe he’s lying. Someone might believe me.

Finally, forcing myself to move. I turn the shower on. My wrists aren’t the only place I’ve cut myself. I glance at my thighs as the blood drips down.

I don’t know how much longer I want to live.

Present Day

I stare at myself in the mirror as I finish applying my makeup. The cut on my lip is hard to cover today, but I’ve managed to hide the other bruises, which is something I’ve learned to do well over the years. But when I press the sponge to my skin, the pain stings. It always hurts.

I look into the mirror as my bedroom door swings open, and I squeeze my eyes shut. I don’t want him to touch me again. Last night was enough. I didn’t even fight, mainly because I was too high to care. But it didn’t stop him from hitting me.

If anyone could see the bruises I have on my body, they’d think I’ve been in a fight with Mike Tyson. But I make sure every bruise, every mark, stays hidden.

I feel him standing behind me, Robert. Even his name makes bile travel up my throat.

Shutting my eyes tighter when he moves my hair aside, giving him access to my neck. His lips press against my skin. I try to push him away, but he quickly wraps his arm around my waist, pulling me against him.

“Last night was good. I hope I didn’t hurt you,” he murmurs, kissing my neck again. His hand moves under my t-shirt. “You know, these are my favorite.” He squeezes my right breast before pressing his lips under my ear. “I think we can have fun before you go to school. After what you did, I deserve to have it all.”

All I did was hit him for hurting me, which he didn’t like.

“Robert!” His name is shouted from downstairs, and he quickly pulls away. He doesn’t want to get caught, not after what happened last time. Even though I was the one who got the blame. No one believed me, they never do. Somehow, I was made out to be the bad guy. I was the one who asked for it. I was the one who walked around in little skirts and begged to be touched. It was all my fault. Now, I’m the reason we had to move to this state.

Quickly I grab my bag and leave my bedroom, not wanting to see anyone. I’m not in the mood to talk, especially not with him around. She’ll blame me for something, even if I had nothing to do with it.

Throwing my bag in the car, I slam the door shut, and cuss to myself under my breath when my bag falls off the seat. Leaning over, I shove everything back in, then stop when I see the card Declan gave me.

I didn’t go to the party. I don’t know why he thought I would. Is he crazy? It’s the last place I wanted to be. Besides, I have a feeling he’s planning to make my life even more miserable than it already is.

The way he spoke to me at lunch, there was something in his tone. A warning.

I’m already broken. What can he do to break me even more?

He’ll come to me, asking why I wasn’t there. I won’t answer. I’m ready for whatever he has to throw at me.

Well, at least I hope I am.

Parking the car, I don’t glance at the hockey team. That’s where he’ll be. No eye contact, that’s my plan. It’ll help me. Or at least that’s what I keep telling myself.

“Hey, Trixie.” I smile at Ash as he walks up beside me, smiling as we make our way to my locker.

“Did you go to the pool party?” he asks.

I turn to him. He knows I didn’t, because we were too busy getting high together.

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