Page 75 of Ruin

“You two need to leave him alone. Just get back safe, D. Watch your fucking back.”

“Yes. Hayden, I will.” The line goes dead, and Declan looks at his message again. His body tenses up under my touch. “Fuck,” I hear him. “What time should we leave?”

We can leave now, if you want.

“Have you finished drawing?”

Sort of.

He sits up on the bed and gives me a kiss. “Just so you know when we walk out of this room you’re still mine. This wasn't a one-time thing or a four time thing. You get it, you're with me now, understand?” I give him a nod. “I know you can't actually physically say the words, but you can sign or something.

Yes.

“Good, welcome to the crazy fucking Crawford family,” Declan jokes, giving me a kiss as I get off him, and get dressed. “Let's go to wherever you needed to go to in the middle of the fucking night in a rainstorm,” Declan jokes and I quickly get changed.

I watch him in front of the mirror looking at what I've drawn on him.

“Seriously?” he turns around.

Do you not like it?

“Fucking love it.” I've drawn him the flower which he leaves on my locker down the middle of his chest and at the bottom of the flower, a blade of a knife with the handle. With the outline of a dragon wrapping the front, and round the back, and its head popping out from the side. “Fucking love it. I can't draw to save my life, but this is the exact tattoo I had in my head which I wanted you to get. In this exact spot.”

I quickly sign.

We are not getting matching tattoos.

“That's what you think. You’ve already got my name on you, a tattoo will not hurt you.

What if-

I stop moving my hands when Declan cuts me off.

“I told you, Trixie, I'm here, and I’m not leaving.”

If only I could believe those words. What about when he finds out the truth? He might think I'm a whore, just like Robert does.

He looks back toward the mirror, his fingers moving over the drawing. “And you're coming with me when I get it done, because I want you to draw it and not them, they might fuck it up one way or the other.”

I sign.Okay.

Is this the fucking seesaw I'm going to be sitting on? The seesaw of happiness, then the horror.

I look down at my bracelets, thinking about what's behind them. Thinking for the first time I've not cut myself in two days. And Declan is the reason.

“Ready?” Giving him a nod as I throw the last few things in my bag.

I haven’t told him where I’m going, not because I’m worried about what he will think, because I don’t want the day to be about me. It’s not about me today.

“Morning, Trixie, didn't think you were going to come today.” I look at Angie. She's been the waitress here since I was a little kid, and here every morning. “How's your dad?”

I give her a slight nod, letting her know he is good.

“Tell her happy birthday from me.” I write on a piece of paper quickly saying I will. She looks over at Declan smiling. “And you found yourself a handsome man. Hi, I'm Angie.”

“Declan.” He shakes her hand, then kisses the top of it, and I shake my head. So sweet and innocent out in public.

“Do you have a granddad?”

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