Page 86 of Ruin

I look at his brothers, and not one of them is ugly. I know Declan was only joking, but all four of them are gorgeous. They could be on the cover of a magazine or something, because they could make me buy anything.

“You want to talk to Lileah, she’s been stress eating. She begged Hayden to drive down to help you.” I look over at the kitchen where Lileah is cooking something. “Then went crazy at me because I fucked up,” Miles tells him, and Declan looks over at her.

“How much did she hear?” Declan asks.

“All of it,” Hayden replies, and Declan gets up from the couch and walks over to the kitchen.

I watch him, and he wraps his arm over her shoulder and pulls her in closer to him. He says something which makes her laugh, and she wraps both her arms around his waist. He brings her over to the couch, and sits her down.

“Want to go out for dinner?” Declan asks.

“Sure. Mom called, told her everything is fine here, and to enjoy their trip,” Hayden tells him, and they have a silent conversation for a moment. “Dad knows, told him everything is under control, and Cain is handling it.”

There is a silence between them, and I shift in my chair, listening to the talk about the world they live. Can I live this life? A life where I’m not scared Robert will come into my bedroom and hurt me, or one where I don’t hurt myself anymore.

“Shall we go?” Declan asks me, and I nod. “Pizza or burger?”

Pizza, and cheesecake.

“Cheesecake it is.” Declan looks over at Lileah, and pulls her closer. “I’m good, no need to worry.”

“Always going to worry about you.” I hear her reply to him.

From what Declan has told me about what the family does, I don’t blame her for always worrying about them. Now I know about it, every time Declan tells me he is away for family stuff, I’ll be worried all the time until he messages me.

“Mason, are you fighting at the club this week?” Declan asks.

“Tonight, you coming?”

“Can’t, need to take someone home, but can you ask Blake about Trixie’s car, and how long it will be?” Declan asks him, and Mason wraps his arm over my shoulder.

“Anything for the new girl, welcome to the family. No matter what anyone tells you, I’m the nicest one out of all of them. The one you need to worry about is Miles.” Mason stops talking when everyone starts laughing at him, and he pushes Declan and Hayden to keep walking.

“Says the person who, only a few hours ago, was beating someone up with a baseball bat.” Miles jokes with him, and Mason looks down at me shaking his head in a playful way, as if a child has been asked if they did something and want to be cute and say no.

“Which was also wrapped in barbed wire,” Declan quickly adds, and this time I do look up at Mason in shock.

What the hell? Are they really all crazy and messed up?

“Don’t listen to them, I wouldn’t hurt a fly.” Mason tells me as we exit the house, his arm still wrapped over my shoulder, until I get to Declan’s car.

“Unless the fly pissed you off.” Declan stands next to me and opens the door for me, and I smile at Mason.

Why do I get the feeling he’s more trouble than he wants to admit. Getting in the car, I watch Declan talking to his brothers. They are all laughing about something. And the only thing I can think about is, really, these four are killers? Really, they look like they should be on a runway, or a movie, or if Declan’s body is anything to go by, topless models.

And yet, I’m too scared to tell Declan about the hell I live in.

* * *

Dinner was nice, it was a lot of joking and making fun of each other. What I would say normal families would be like with each other. They told me about their granddad and how he went into The Pit with Cain. I think I cried twice when they were telling me things about the past, and how Cain ended up there. Declan told me a little more about his time there, but Hayden told me he doesn’t like talking about it.

“There will be days he will zone out from us all and we know he’s there, but won’t tell us what happened. Not sure if it’s because he doesn’t want to talk about it, or he’s scared to talk about it. I’m not going to say we lost our brother when he came back, like we did Cain, but he changed. Maybe having you in his life will calm the storm he’s always fighting with.”

I didn’t know what to say to Hayden when he finished talking, the only thing I could do was nod my head at him. But it really made me think about every mark on Declan’s chest and back. What things happened to him down there? He told me a little, but not everything, a part of me was relieved when he stopped telling me about it. I wanted to cry, I wanted to hug him, I wanted to run away from him.

So, do I want to know more about that place? I don’t think so.

“One pit stop then I’ll drop you off at home,” Declan takes my hand in his and plants a kiss on the top of it. He looks down at my bracelets, and smiles. “Do you ever take them off?” he asks. I made sure there was no need for me to take them off, and if I’m honest I never take them off, unless it’s to hurt myself.

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