Page 96 of Ruin

I take a step forward, but my brothers hold me back. “Did you cut yourself because of me?” I shout, but nothing.

“Trixie, did you cut yourself because of me?” Nothing, she says nothing. She's not doing anything. No shake of the head. No signing, nothing.

“Trixie, did you cut yourself because of what I did to you? You can stand there in silence, but Trixie, I need to know.”

I'm trying to fight my way out of my brother's hold so I can get closer to her. But they’re not letting me go. They probably see the anger brewing in my eyes right now, and they probably feel it with how tense my body is against theirs.

In one way I'm thankful they’re stopping me, because I don't know what the fuck I would do if I get close to her. “Did I fuck up so bad you had to hurt yourself?” I shout at her, I need to know if this is my fault, I need to know I fucked up, and I need her to know I would never have touched her if I knew she was doing this to herself. She needs to know I fucked up and I’m sorry.

“No.” The faintest sound escapes her.

My whole body breaks down on me, and I stare at her for a minute. A sudden coldness hits my core, and a tingle hits my skin.

“You can talk.” I try to take a step closer to her, but my brothers are still stopping me. I still don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing. And then she signs.

No one listens when I talk.

“No one fucking listens when you talk. From the very minute I walked into the cafeteria and sat at your table, I've been listening.” I slap my hand against my chest. “I've listened to you. I've spoken to you.” I stop and take a deep breath and stare at her. I don't know what to say, what to do. And then all of a sudden, everything goes blank.

“Did I fuck up so bad you had to hurt yourself?”

Hayden is standing in my view of Trixie. Miles and Mason, are standing next to me.

“Calm down. D,” Hayden's words finally hit my ears. God knows how many times he said that to me. “Lileah, take Trixie, home-”

“No,” I snap.

I can't send her back there, I don't know what is going on.

“Lileah-”,

“No, she's not going back to that house,” I shout again.

“You can't talk to her when you’re this angry.” Hayden gets in my view again.

“She's. Not. Going. There.” My eyes wide as each word comes out of my mouth and I look at Hayden, and we have a silent conversation where I'm telling him she cannot go back to the house, not without me next to her and he gives me a nod.

“Hayden,” I hear Lileah. “Hayden.”

“What?” he snaps.

“Take a little step to the left?”

“What?”

“Take a step to the left with Declan.” We all move to the left, and look to where she's pointing and see the red dot on the wall.

Fuck, this is all I need.

“Declan, get in the house,” Hayden shouts at me.

“No-”

“They want you dead. They don't want us dead, Get in the fucking house.”

“No.” I lock eyes with Trixie again. “Did you hurt yourself, because of what I did?”

She signs.No, only because of the things which happened after.

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